Outback Knives 8 — 1 Boat Boys
♡ An Echo. Two souls trading dugouts on live broadcast. Audacious.
BROADCAST DETAILS
RIOT “KNIVES AT BOATS. DAD'S DOCK. NOBODY IS READY. LEAST OF ALL ME. GO.”
VESPER “What she said. Roll the thing, boys.”
RIOT “WEATHER REPORT. ECHO. PLAY CONTINUES BECAUSE OF COURSE IT DOES.”
VESPER “Riot. Riot, honey. The mic is right there, you don't need to—”
RIOT “THIS IS MY INSIDE VOICE.”
VESPER “Tonight we're watching Wayne (Disputed Captain). “Interference Call,” to the faithful. The walkup alone — Their own name, whispered by the PA at full volume. — I mean. Come on.”
RIOT “Word around the league: polite to the broadcast crew. Notably.”
RIOT “THEY'RE CHANTING “WE DROVE SO FAR”. do you hear them. DO YOU HEAR THEM.”
RIOT “THE KNIVES FANS ARE HERE AND YOU CAN TELL. FIELD REPORT: Concession choices are considered a form of self-expression here.”
VESPER “So it's 5–1 Knives through 4 and honestly? This one's getting rude. The crowd is throwing things, which — fair.”
RIOT “A wave attempt has failed three sections in a row.”
VESPER “Oh — stadium operations asked me to read this: Emergency cleanup crew entered from the wrong tunnel. ...anyway!”
VESPER “Knives are up 6–1. Through 6. It has stopped being a contest and started being a documentary.”
VESPER “Riot. Riot, honey. The mic is right there, you don't need to—”
RIOT “THIS IS MY INSIDE VOICE.”
RIOT “IT'S OVER. KNIVES WIN 8–1. SOUL OF THE GAME: HILDA THE REACH, 4-FOR-10 WITH 1 HOME RUN. i need to sit down. I'M NOT GOING TO. but i need to.”
VESPER “And the Echo? Never even apologized.”
RIOT “DRINK WATER. RESPECT NOBODY. GOODNIGHT.”
VESPER “Goodnight, everyone~ ♡”
- 🔁 ECHO: Hank (Allegedly Captain) ↔ Florence Drift swapped teams.
Knives 1 0 1 3 0 1 0 0 2 R 8
Boats 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 R 1
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hilda the Reach | 10 | 4 | 1 | 3 | .400 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 9 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .222 |
| Vera Looms | 3 | 2 | 1 | 1 | .666 |
| Empty Manila Folder Boris | 6 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .166 |
| Hank (Allegedly Captain) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Constance of the Veil | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .1000 |
| Mavis the Towering | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Earl (Disputed Captain) | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .166 |
| Florence Drift | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .200 |
| Chuck (Co-Captain) | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
| Roy (Captain Emeritus) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Hank (The Real Captain) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Stan (Also Captain) | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Steve (Also Captain) | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Wayne (Disputed Captain) | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Forgotten Gym Bag Janice | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Knives @ Boats (Dad's Dock) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Hilda the Reach carves a base hit through the gap. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Hank (Allegedly Captain) reaches for one and somehow makes contact. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Beryl the Unsmiling (looming) singles. The Steakhouse smells more strongly. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Roy (Captain Emeritus) singles, looking up, briefly noticing a cloud. Earl (Disputed Captain) (knot-untying) singles. The other Captains weigh in. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Hilda the Unsmiling (incorporeal) sends one out. The neon sign reading 'STEAKS' sputters meaningfully. Mavis Edgewise drives one. The catcher politely notes she could not see Mavis Edgewise swing. Hilda the Reach sets the knife down briefly to swing. Another Knife retrieves it. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at Dad's Dock. The boat takes on a little water. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Vera Looms sets the knife down briefly to swing. Another Knife retrieves it. Constance of the Veil drives one. The catcher politely notes she could not see Constance of the Veil swing. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Florence Drift (polite menace) hammers one past the diving second baseman. The dads applaud their own dock. Hank (The Real Captain) (grilling-adjacent) hits a slow grounder. The Captains nod approvingly at the technique. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at Dad's Dock. The boat takes on a little water. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Vera Looms sends one out. The neon sign reading 'STEAKS' sputters meaningfully. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Empty Manila Folder Boris makes contact. The ball seems hesitant. Hilda the Reach takes a long, ghostly swing and singles. ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at Dad's Dock. The boat takes on a little water. FINAL: Knives 8 — Boats 1 WEATHER: Echo 🔁 ECHO: Hank (Allegedly Captain) ↔ Florence Drift swapped teams.