FHTV · PLAYER FILE
Empty Manila Folder Boris
Outback Knives · hum-along · carries the elevator hum
FHTV DOSSIER
IDENT
Known to the stands as “Two-Beer Marvin.” The subject has stopped correcting anyone. League consensus: respected by Knives ushers, which is rare.
FIELD NOTES
Walkup audio, as logged: “Foghorn into smooth jazz.” Under OTHER, a previous scout wrote only this: cannot pitch after hearing static.
APPENDIX
Appendix, filed without comment: “Reportedly owns three (3) different Hell Kale futures contracts.”
— Filed under mild protest.
STAT LINE · CAREER
| Power | SCORCHING BLESSED |
|---|---|
| Glove | SHAKY |
| Soul | TRANSCENDENT BLESSED |
| Games | 58 |
| At-bats | 343 |
| Hits | 131 |
| Home runs | 16 |
| RBI | 85 |
| Batting avg | .381 |
BY SEASON
| Season | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| S5 | 144 | 48 | 6 | 36 | .333 |
| S4 | 49 | 22 | 1 | 14 | .448 |
| S3 | 93 | 39 | 5 | 22 | .419 |
| S2 | 49 | 18 | 2 | 12 | .367 |
| S1 | 8 | 4 | 2 | 1 | .500 |
PERSONAL NARRATIVE · WEATHER EVENTS
- S1 G6: ⚡ BRIMSTONE: Empty Manila Folder Boris (Lvl42) was incinerated. Replaced by Birthday Card Susan.
- S3 G4: 🔁 ECHO: Empty Manila Folder Boris ↔ Earl (Disputed Captain) swapped teams.
- S5 G12: 🔁 ECHO: Empty Manila Folder Boris ↔ Phyllis Looms swapped teams.
- S5 G14: 🌫 ONION MIST: Empty Manila Folder Boris (Knives) gains 1 POWER (now 8.0).