FHTV · PLAYER FILE
Hilda the Unsmiling hot 6
Outback Knives · incorporeal · carries A Surprisingly Long Butter Knife
FHTV DOSSIER
IDENT
The fans settled on “Backup Plan of Future Hell” some time ago. Appeals were denied. Standing assessment, unchanged three reviews running: believed cursed by older fans.
FIELD NOTES
The walkup is “A single sustained note from beneath the stadium.” We asked why, once. Scouts agree on one point only: emotionally unavailable closer.
APPENDIX
The following could not be confirmed or, worryingly, denied: “Registered to vote in three different hells.”
— Compiled from the concourse, during a delay.
STAT LINE · CAREER
| Power | SCORCHING |
|---|---|
| Glove | BUTTERFINGERED |
| Soul | HUMMING |
| Games | 36 |
| At-bats | 165 |
| Hits | 61 |
| Home runs | 6 |
| RBI | 42 |
| Batting avg | .369 |
BY SEASON
| Season | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| S3 | 45 | 16 | 3 | 9 | .355 |
| S2 | 56 | 19 | 2 | 16 | .339 |
| S1 | 64 | 26 | 1 | 17 | .406 |