Hilda the Unsmiling

The fans settled on “Backup Plan of Future Hell” some time ago. Appeals were denied. Standing assessment, unchanged three reviews running: believed cursed by older fans.

The walkup is “A single sustained note from beneath the stadium.” We asked why, once. Scouts agree on one point only: emotionally unavailable closer.

The following could not be confirmed or, worryingly, denied: “Registered to vote in three different hells.”