FHTV · PLAYER FILE
Stan (Also Captain)
Boat Boys · knot-untying · carries a paper-towel captain's hat
FHTV DOSSIER
IDENT
The fans settled on “The Void Closer” some time ago. Appeals were denied. League consensus: quietly feared by opposing organists.
FIELD NOTES
Walkup: “Foghorn into smooth jazz.” The organist was not consulted. Field note, consistent across multiple games: claims to have predicted last season's collapse.
APPENDIX
A concessions vendor volunteered the following: “Hosted a podcast nobody can locate.”
— Compiled from the concourse, during a delay.
STAT LINE · CAREER
| Power | COLD |
|---|---|
| Glove | STEADY BLESSED |
| Soul | QUIET BLESSED |
| Games | 63 |
| At-bats | 263 |
| Hits | 47 |
| Home runs | 0 |
| RBI | 34 |
| Batting avg | .178 |
BY SEASON
| Season | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| S5 | 47 | 8 | 0 | 5 | .170 |
| S4 | 50 | 7 | 0 | 6 | .140 |
| S3 | 39 | 6 | 0 | 6 | .153 |
| S2 | 68 | 12 | 0 | 8 | .176 |
| S1 | 59 | 14 | 0 | 9 | .237 |
PERSONAL NARRATIVE · WEATHER EVENTS