FHTV · PLAYER FILE
Earl (Disputed Captain)
Boat Boys · knot-untying · carries a paper-towel captain's hat
FHTV DOSSIER
IDENT
Listed on every unofficial scorecard as “Spider-Eyed Honestly.” Standing assessment, unchanged three reviews running: the reason section 12 stands during the fourth.
FIELD NOTES
The walkup is “Thirty seconds of a dial-up modem reaching something.” We asked why, once. The following behavior is documented: will not eat concessions on game day.
APPENDIX
Appendix, filed without comment: “Petitioned the league to recognize a tenth uhoh. Petition pending.”
— Filed under mild protest.
STAT LINE · CAREER
| Power | SMOLDERING |
|---|---|
| Glove | MAGNETIC |
| Soul | HOLLOW |
| Games | 3 |
| At-bats | 13 |
| Hits | 2 |
| Home runs | 0 |
| RBI | 0 |
| Batting avg | .153 |
BY SEASON
| Season | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| S1 | 13 | 2 | 0 | 0 | .153 |