FHTV · PLAYER FILE

Earl (Disputed Captain)

Boat Boys · knot-untying · carries a paper-towel captain's hat

FHTV DOSSIER FILE 0021 · UNVERIFIED
IDENT

Listed on every unofficial scorecard as “Spider-Eyed Honestly.” Standing assessment, unchanged three reviews running: the reason section 12 stands during the fourth.

FIELD NOTES

The walkup is “Thirty seconds of a dial-up modem reaching something.” We asked why, once. The following behavior is documented: will not eat concessions on game day.

APPENDIX

Appendix, filed without comment: “Petitioned the league to recognize a tenth uhoh. Petition pending.”

— Filed under mild protest.

STAT LINE · CAREER
Power SMOLDERING
Glove MAGNETIC
Soul QUIET BLESSED
Games27
At-bats91
Hits20
Home runs1
RBI7
Batting avg .219
BY SEASON SEASONS2
SeasonABHHRRBIBA
S2 49 12 1 4 .244
S1 42 8 0 3 .190