HELLBALL · GUIDE
A four-team league of damned baseball. Bet on games, vote on decrees, watch the league mutate every season. Everything you need to know is below.
What is Hellball?
Hellball is a fully simulated fantasy baseball league running an endless season cycle. Four teams play through a full schedule, then the community votes on a decree that reshapes the league for the next season — buffing one team, cursing another, or introducing some other catastrophe.
Games run over real wall-clock time (about an hour each), several times a day on the FHTV broadcast schedule, with live linescores that reveal inning by inning and an FHTV broadcast booth calling the action as it lands. Every visitor gets a starting balance of HELLBUX to bet with. There's no install, no signup required, and nothing to lose but fake money.
The Four Teams
The Bobs
A fractious collective united only by their shared name and a deep, abiding grievance. The largest and most internally hostile fanbase in the league. No confirmed roster has ever remained accurate for an entire season. Despite this — or perhaps because of it — they win games at an unsettling rate.
Outback Knives
Methodical. Dangerous. Betting against them is considered spiritually irresponsible in several districts. Their fanbase rarely celebrates victories publicly. Some players are rumored to sharpen their equipment between innings.
Boat Boys
Nautical energy, landlocked stadium. Their desert park experiences unexplained tidal surges during home games. The captain's word is law. Several captains disagree about which captain that is.
Level 42
They have reached the floor. They press on. Their players hum at a frequency others cannot hear, and their batting statistics contain numbers that should not be possible. Level 42 does not explain itself. It simply plays.
How It Works
HELLBUX ◊
Every visitor starts with 1,000 HELLBUX. Earn more by winning bets. Spend them on decree votes. If your balance drops below 20 HELLBUX, the house bumps you back up to 100 HELLBUX automatically (once per 24 hours). You will never be locked out permanently. The house insists this is kindness.
Betting
Open any game on the schedule and pick a side. Odds are computed from each team's archetype stats, Soul ratings, current season win percentage, and home-field advantage, with a 5% house edge. Betting on a game opens at midnight (league time) on the day it plays and closes 5 minutes after first pitch. The full outcome is determined when the game starts — innings are revealed progressively over the game's runtime, so you're betting on a known outcome you can't yet see. If a regular-season game ends in a tie, every stake is refunded.
The Broadcast
Every live game gets an FHTV booth: two announcers drawn from the network cast — Vesper Volt (the host, affectionate, lightly dangerous), Riot (SHOUTS), Aurelia (the analyst, very tired), and Hex (visiting clairvoyant, alarming specifics). The pairing is fixed for the whole game, and every duo has its own chemistry.
Open Broadcast Details on a game page to read the call. The play-by-play from the field is woven directly into the transcript, and the booth's beats — weather advisories, stadium chants, score checks, incidents, the final wrap — unlock as innings reveal. Score calls freeze at their checkpoint: the booth never rewrites what it already said, no matter how the game turns. Each game also features one soul of the game the booth keeps an eye on. Watch for them.
Weather
Each game rolls a weather condition. Weather is announced from first pitch — the stadium banner shows it and the booth reads the advisory on air. Its effects can permanently alter rosters.
No effect. Enjoy it. It doesn't last.
A player is incinerated and removed for the season. Founders resurrect at the next reset; rookies retire permanently.
Players, or entire lineups, are swapped between teams.
A team's stats are dragged down.
A team's stats are lifted up.
A random player gains power and loses a little soul. The hotdogs ask nothing in return.
One player on each team loses glove. The badgers are thorough.
A random player's power and glove trade places.
Every living player gains a little soul. From somewhere.
Every player on both teams is incinerated except the single best on each side. No rookie replacements. The league apologizes in advance.
Three weather effects fire back-to-back.
The Giant Sky Santa approves, and every stat on the field drops to 1 for the game. Everyone is equally bad at baseball. It's beautiful.
Four parks carry their own conditions. At home games, the local weather can seize the roll.
Two Bobs trade power. The war never ended.
A Knife is seasoned.
A Boat Boy's glove improves by committee.
The song hits different. All of Level 42 gains soul.
Players & Scouting
Every player runs on three hidden ratings — Power (offense), Glove (defense), and Soul (a chaotic multiplier that feeds the odds). The raw numbers stay behind the curtain; what you get is the FHTV scouting read. Power runs COLD → SMOLDERING → WARM → SCORCHING → CATACLYSMIC. Glove runs BUTTERFINGERED → SHAKY → STEADY → MAGNETIC → PROPHETIC. Soul runs HOLLOW → QUIET → HUMMING → LOUD → TRANSCENDENT.
When weather has touched a player, their profile shows a BLESSED or CURSED badge — direction only, never the size of the shift. Watch for hot and cold streak indicators on team and player pages, and check each player's FHTV dossier for their nickname, walkup, reputation, and the rumors the league declines to investigate. Career stats persist across seasons, incinerations permitting.
The Underworld Series
When the regular season ends, the top two teams meet in the Underworld Series — best-of-five, with home field split 2-2-1 in favor of the better record. Playoff games cannot end in ties; someone's season dies. The winner is crowned champion, the standings are archived, and the decree ballot opens.
Decrees
When a season ends, a ballot opens with five randomly chosen decrees. The decree with the most votes is applied at the start of the next season, modifying a team's archetype stats and shifting their player ratings and future odds. Each vote costs 50 HELLBUX — buy as many as you can afford. Votes are refundable until the season begins.
Accounts
You get an anonymous account automatically — just a cookie. Set a nickname on your account page to appear on the leaderboard. Claim a username and password to keep your balance and history across browsers.
Credits
Hellball was designed and built by Meowtor. Hosted on-air by Vesper Volt.
The Bob War rages on.