Boat Boys 13 — 7 Level 42
BROADCAST DETAILS
RIOT “I RAN HERE. BOATS AT LVL42. THE GAME KNOWS I'M WATCHING.”
AURELIA “The public is heavy on the road team. The public is often wrong. On average. No offense.”
AURELIA “Haunted tonight. The books priced it in this morning. The players find out... approximately now.”
RIOT “FEATURED SOUL: COFFEE CUP MARGARET. “Off-Grid of Future Hell”. that walkup changed me. Forty-two seconds of dial tone.”
AURELIA “Word around the league: a favorite of the night shift at the Steakhouse.”
AURELIA ““THE UMPIRE IS COMPROMISED” — that's the Lvl42 crowd, 2nd uhoh. The chant-to-runs correlation remains unproven. They keep chanting. I keep noting it.”
AURELIA “Demographic note on the Lvl42 section: The fanbase has negotiated with weather on at least one documented occasion. This is considered normal here.”
SAINT STATIC “your signal is very warm. i am wearing it.”
RIOT “I'M NOT SCARED. I'M LOUD. THOSE ARE DIFFERENT THINGS.”
AURELIA “Boats by 8–4 through 4. The books settled this an hour ago. Everything since has been paperwork.”
RIOT “Even the popcorn vendors look tired.”
AURELIA “Boats by 12–5 through 6. The books settled this an hour ago. Everything since has been paperwork.”
RIOT “Nine fans have officially given up. The other eleven thousand are pretending not to.”
SAINT STATIC “…forgotten gym — janice hits one to the gap. a different captain explains explains how he — — hit it it harder…”
AURELIA “The books do not take action from ghosts. Anymore.”
AURELIA “Boats close it out, 13–7. Soul of the game: Forgotten Gym Bag Janice, 4-for-9 with 1 home run. The closing line was... close. I'll take it. I'll take anything at this point.”
AURELIA “Margins held. Some didn't. Settling accordingly. Goodnight.”
RIOT “WORTH IT. GOODNIGHT.”
- 👻 HAUNTED: the dead are watching. All 18 active players gain +0.5 SOUL.
Boats 1 6 1 0 1 3 1 0 0 R 13
Lvl42 0 1 3 0 0 1 1 0 1 R 7
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Forgotten Gym Bag Janice | 9 | 4 | 1 | 4 | .444 |
| Roy (Captain Emeritus) | 8 | 4 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Hank (The Real Captain) | 7 | 3 | 0 | 3 | .428 |
| Earl (Disputed Captain) | 4 | 2 | 0 | 0 | .500 |
| Stan (Also Captain) | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .200 |
| Wayne (Disputed Captain) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Steve (Also Captain) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Chuck (Co-Captain) | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tepid Soup Karen | 6 | 3 | 0 | 0 | .500 |
| Wet Umbrella Dennis | 6 | 3 | 0 | 2 | .500 |
| Birthday Card Linda | 5 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .400 |
| Birthday Card Margaret | 5 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .400 |
| Suspiciously Damp Phil | 4 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .200 |
| Earl (Captain Emeritus) | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .200 |
| Coffee Cup Margaret | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
| Phyllis Looms | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Boats @ Lvl42 (The Hellevator) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Hank (Allegedly Captain) singles. The other Captains weigh in. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Tepid Soup Karen (hum-along) singles. The mirrored ceiling reveals nothing useful. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Something is wrong with the air. Roy (Captain Emeritus) hits a long fly past the dock. Several Captains insist they could have caught it. Forgotten Gym Bag Janice works a hit, then yells something about thermostats. Hank (The Real Captain) (grilling-adjacent) singles. The flare goes off, accidentally. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Suspiciously Damp Phil drives one to deep left while humming. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Forgotten Gym Bag Janice (hum-along) works a hit. A discussion of knot-tying breaks out at first base. Roy (Captain Emeritus) hammers a base hit while several dads adjust their hats. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── The umpire shudders. Birthday Card Margaret hits one. The recessed lighting flickers. Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin (floor 42 stare) hits a soft liner. A lobby plant trembles. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Roy (Captain Emeritus) (grilling-adjacent) singles. The flare goes off, accidentally. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Coffee Cup Margaret hits one as the song hits the bridge. Tepid Soup Karen hits one as the song hits the bridge. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Hank (Allegedly Captain) singles. Two other Captains compare grills. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Scoreless. The doors briefly hint at opening, then think better of it. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── The scoreboard flickers. Hank (The Real Captain) (grilling-adjacent) works a hit, then yells something about thermostats. Stan (Also Captain) singles. The other Captains weigh in. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Birthday Card Linda swings on a 3-2 count. The chorus arrives, exquisitely. Suspiciously Damp Phil hits one as the song hits the bridge. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Forgotten Gym Bag Janice hits one to the gap. A different Captain explains how he would have hit it harder. Earl (Disputed Captain) swings, makes contact, and immediately criticizes his own follow-through. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Earl (Captain Emeritus) swings during the chorus. The bat connects. Wet Umbrella Dennis (between-floors) taps a hit. Briefcase Linda nods. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Quiet inning. The floor display ticks: 42, 42, 42. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Tepid Soup Karen singles. Tepid Soup Karen is not certain Tepid Soup Karen is here. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Roy (Captain Emeritus) hammers one past the diving second baseman. The dads applaud their own dock. ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── Wet Umbrella Dennis hits a soft liner. A lobby plant trembles. Birthday Card Linda taps a hit. Briefcase Linda nods. FINAL: Boats 13 — Lvl42 7 WEATHER: Haunted 👻 HAUNTED: the dead are watching. All 18 active players gain +0.5 SOUL.