FHTV · PLAYER FILE
Tepid Soup Karen hot 4
Boat Boys · hum-along · carries the elevator hum
FHTV DOSSIER
IDENT
Goes by “Basement Shift.” We have three theories about why and endorse none of them. League consensus: considered a 'fan of the stadium itself'.
FIELD NOTES
Approaches the plate to: “Riot TV bumper, three quarter speed.” Scouts agree on one point only: has a long-standing feud with the third-base umpire.
APPENDIX
A concessions vendor volunteered the following: “Suspended once for a sponsorship that did not exist.”
— Scout rotated off this assignment shortly after.
STAT LINE · CAREER
| Power | SMOLDERING |
|---|---|
| Glove | SHAKY |
| Soul | TRANSCENDENT |
| Games | 5 |
| At-bats | 25 |
| Hits | 11 |
| Home runs | 0 |
| RBI | 4 |
| Batting avg | .440 |
BY SEASON
| Season | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| S1 | 25 | 11 | 0 | 4 | .440 |
PERSONAL NARRATIVE · WEATHER EVENTS