Suspiciously Damp Phil

Known to the stands as “The Pre-Game Omen.” The subject has stopped correcting anyone. Ask any usher — a Saint Static frequency favorite.

The walkup is “Hold music from the league front office.” We asked why, once. The following behavior is documented: counts the crowd before every at-bat. Out loud.

Appendix, filed without comment: “Has an open tab at the Garden of Evil. The Jeems are patient.”