Phyllis Looms

Goes by “Overtime Edna Jr.” We have three theories about why and endorse none of them. League consensus: a favorite of the night shift at the Steakhouse.

Booth log lists the walkup as “Slurm Basement at unsafe volume.” Field note, consistent across multiple games: arrives exactly nine minutes late to everything.

Appendix, filed without comment: “Was interviewed by the Weatherball desk once and the tape is just wind.”