Level 42 18 — 11 Outback Knives
BROADCAST DETAILS
AURELIA “Lvl42 at Knives. Someone wins this. The books decline to say more, and frankly so do I.”
HEX “The bat boy has been running since warmups. He knows something. He won't say.”
HEX “The cards and I called this matchup weeks ago.”
AURELIA “The books called it months ago. With math.”
HEX “The math you learned from a book. I rest my case.”
AURELIA “That's not— fine. FINE.”
AURELIA “Forgotten Gym Bag Janice is the one to model tonight. Street name “The Pre-Game Omen”. Pre-plate ritual: A recording of a previous walkup, degraded.”
HEX ““STAY. STAY. STAY” rises from the Knives section. I heard it before they said it. I always do. It's exhausting.”
AURELIA “Demographic note on the Knives section: Fanbase considered aggressive even by aggressive standards. This is considered normal here.”
HEX “9–2, Lvl42. I saw this score in the steam off my tea. I'd hoped it was the tea being dramatic.”
AURELIA “Lvl42 by 13–6 through 6. The books settled this an hour ago. Everything since has been paperwork.”
HEX “Nine fans have officially given up. The other eleven thousand are pretending not to.”
HEX “Final score 18–11. Lvl42 prevail. Soul of the game: Hilda Edgewise, 7-for-10 with 4 home runs. The cards knew. The cards always know. The cards are insufferable.”
HEX “Tomorrow's game will be worse. Goodnight.”
AURELIA “...yeah. Goodnight.”
Lvl42 4 0 2 3 0 4 0 0 5 R 18
Knives 0 0 2 0 1 3 1 2 2 R 11
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Suspiciously Damp Phil | 8 | 4 | 0 | 4 | .500 |
| Coffee Cup Margaret | 6 | 4 | 0 | 2 | .666 |
| Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin | 6 | 3 | 1 | 3 | .500 |
| Empty Manila Folder Boris | 5 | 3 | 1 | 3 | .600 |
| Suspiciously Damp Carl | 5 | 3 | 0 | 3 | .600 |
| Birthday Card Margaret | 6 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .166 |
| Wet Umbrella Dennis | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .166 |
| Forgotten Gym Bag Janice | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Tepid Soup Karen | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hilda Edgewise | 10 | 7 | 4 | 4 | .700 |
| Florence Drift | 5 | 3 | 2 | 3 | .600 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 6 | 2 | 1 | 0 | .333 |
| Mavis the Towering | 6 | 2 | 1 | 2 | .333 |
| Phyllis Looms | 2 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .1000 |
| Constance of the Veil | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .200 |
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Hilda the Reach | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Lvl42 @ Knives (The Steakhouse) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Several balls go missing and reappear. Coffee Cup Margaret (hum-along) BLASTS a home run. The floor display rapidly cycles 41, 40, 39, then snaps to 42. Empty Manila Folder Boris (hum-along) taps a hit. Briefcase Linda nods. Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin hits a soft liner. A lobby plant trembles. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Beryl the Unsmiling launches a knife-aided home run. The ball is also slightly cut. Hilda Edgewise slices one down the line. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Forgotten Gym Bag Janice drives one out and the elevator briefly descends an unspecified amount. Empty Manila Folder Boris singles. The mirrored ceiling reveals nothing useful. Coffee Cup Margaret (hum-along) hits one. The recessed lighting flickers. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Something is wrong with the air. Hilda Edgewise sails one OVER THE BLOOMIN' ONION. Florence Drift is here. Then she's there. Then she's hit a single. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── The scoreboard flickers. Suspiciously Damp Carl pokes a hit. The slight smell of warm laundry intensifies. Coffee Cup Margaret (hum-along) hits a soft liner. A lobby plant trembles. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Hilda Edgewise sends a home run into the parking lot. The valet, who is also a ghost, shrugs. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Several balls go missing and reappear. Birthday Card Margaret singles. The PA system plays the same eight bars again. Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin hits one as the song hits the bridge. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Florence Drift sails one OVER THE BLOOMIN' ONION. Hilda the Unsmiling (incorporeal) carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. Phyllis Looms (looming) is here. Then she's there. Then she's hit a single. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Wet Umbrella Dennis sends a base hit between the mirrored panels. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Florence Drift slices one down the line. Hilda Edgewise slices one down the line. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Several balls go missing and reappear. Hilda Edgewise sails one OVER THE BLOOMIN' ONION. Constance of the Veil settles into a stance taller than the umpire and singles. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Several balls go missing and reappear. Suspiciously Damp Carl sends a base hit between the mirrored panels. Empty Manila Folder Boris pokes a hit. The slight smell of warm laundry intensifies. ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── Mavis the Towering (looming) powers one over the wall. A complimentary side flies into the stands. Phyllis Looms carves a base hit through the gap. FINAL: Lvl42 18 — Knives 11