Level 42 13 — 1 Boat Boys
BROADCAST DETAILS
RIOT “IT'S LVL42 VERSUS BOATS AND I'VE BEEN STANDING SINCE NOON. MY LEGS ARE FINE. STOP ASKING.”
AURELIA “For the record, I predicted none of what's about to happen. Put that on my tombstone.”
AURELIA “Weather desk confirms Haunted. Historically that moves the line, and occasionally a roster.”
AURELIA “Riot's enthusiasm is not statistically supported.”
RIOT “MY ENTHUSIASM SUPPORTS ITSELF.”
RIOT “FEATURED SOUL: STAN (ALSO CAPTAIN). “The Void Closer”. that walkup changed me. Foghorn into smooth jazz.”
RIOT “THE BOATS SECTION IS CHANTING “IT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE” AND HONESTLY? SAME.”
AURELIA “Through 4 it's Lvl42, 3–0. The line has noticed. The crowd — spider-killed — has also noticed. Everyone's noticing. Great work all around.”
RIOT “The losing dugout is spiritually elsewhere.”
AURELIA “9–1. At this margin the live line just reads 'yes'. Crowd's hostile. The Boats fans are researching next season.”
RIOT “AN HOUR AGO THE CROWD WAS SPIDER-KILLED. LOOK AT THEM NOW. LOOK AT THEM.”
RIOT “AURELIA. GIVE ME A NUMBER.”
AURELIA “Four.”
RIOT “PERFECT. NO NOTES. WHAT'S IT FOR.”
AURELIA “Nothing. You asked for a number.”
AURELIA “That's a final — 13–1. Soul of the game: Wet Umbrella Dennis, 5-for-10 with 1 home run. Everything I predicted was wrong in an instructive way. Good night to the ledger.”
RIOT “SAY IT AGAIN. don't. it's better once.”
RIOT “DRINK WATER. RESPECT NOBODY. GOODNIGHT.”
AURELIA “...yeah. Goodnight.”
- 👻 HAUNTED: the dead are watching. All 18 active players gain +0.5 SOUL.
Lvl42 1 0 0 2 6 0 3 1 0 R 13
Boats 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 R 1
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Wet Umbrella Dennis | 10 | 5 | 1 | 3 | .500 |
| Suspiciously Damp Carl | 8 | 4 | 0 | 3 | .500 |
| Empty Manila Folder Boris | 6 | 4 | 1 | 2 | .666 |
| Tepid Soup Karen | 5 | 3 | 0 | 2 | .600 |
| Suspiciously Damp Phil | 3 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .666 |
| Birthday Card Margaret | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .200 |
| Forgotten Gym Bag Janice | 4 | 1 | 1 | 0 | .250 |
| Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin | 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | .250 |
| Coffee Cup Margaret | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Chuck (Co-Captain) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .666 |
| Steve (Also Captain) | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .500 |
| Roy (Captain Emeritus) | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Stan (Also Captain) | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hank (Allegedly Captain) | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Earl (Disputed Captain) | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Earl (Captain Emeritus) | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Lvl42 @ Boats (Dad's Dock) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Tepid Soup Karen singles. The doors do not open. Suspiciously Damp Carl hits a soft liner. A lobby plant trembles. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Steve (Also Captain) (Captain) takes a thoughtful swing. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Chuck (Co-Captain) singles. The flare goes off, accidentally. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at Dad's Dock. The boat takes on a little water. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Suspiciously Damp Phil hits one. The recessed lighting flickers. Tepid Soup Karen (hum-along) swings during the chorus. The bat connects. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── The scoreboard flickers. Wet Umbrella Dennis sends one out as the bridge plays. The carpet smells different now. Suspiciously Damp Phil swings while the song is in the second verse. Suspiciously Damp Carl singles. The PA system plays the same eight bars again. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Chuck (Co-Captain) (dad-coded) hits one to right. The Boat Boys begin a story about a boat. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Several balls go missing and reappear. Wet Umbrella Dennis sends a home run into Floor 43, where it has never been observed. Empty Manila Folder Boris hits one as the song hits the bridge. Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin (floor 42 stare) singles. The elevator hum rises in pitch. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Empty Manila Folder Boris sends a home run into Floor 43, where it has never been observed. Forgotten Gym Bag Janice drives one to deep left while humming. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Wayne (Disputed Captain) (loud about lawns) swings, makes contact, and immediately criticizes his own follow-through. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at Dad's Dock. The boat takes on a little water. FINAL: Lvl42 13 — Boats 1 WEATHER: Haunted 👻 HAUNTED: the dead are watching. All 18 active players gain +0.5 SOUL.