The Bobs 2 — 9 Boat Boys
BROADCAST DETAILS
VESPER “Welcome back to Hellball. Bobs at Boats, Dad's Dock passed inspection this morning. Barely. Nobody ask which part failed.”
RIOT “SAY LESS. SAY NOTHING. IT'S TIME.”
VESPER “Tonight we're watching Earl (Captain Emeritus). “Signal Fade,” to the faithful. The walkup alone — Two distinct songs at the same time. — I mean. Come on.”
RIOT “Word around the league: quietly feared by opposing organists.”
RIOT “CROWD CHECK — “THE UMPIRE IS COMPROMISED” — BOBS SECTION — 2ND UHOH — I HAVE JOINED IN TWICE ALREADY.”
RIOT “BOATS 6. BOBS 0. THAT'S NOT A SCORE THAT'S A CRIME SCENE.”
VESPER “Boats are up 9–2. Through 6. It has stopped being a contest and started being a documentary.”
RIOT “An entire section is leaving. With dignity. Some of it.”
RIOT “IT'S OVER. BOATS WIN 9–2. SOUL OF THE GAME: ROY (CAPTAIN EMERITUS), 4-FOR-9 WITH 1 HOME RUN. i need to sit down. I'M NOT GOING TO. but i need to.”
VESPER “And our featured soul Earl (Captain Emeritus) — you saw it here first ♡”
VESPER “That's Hellball for tonight. Goodnight Future Hell~ ♡ Sleep with one ear open.”
RIOT “WORTH IT. GOODNIGHT.”
Bobs 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 R 2
Boats 4 1 1 2 0 1 0 0 X R 9
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Small Bob-3000 | 5 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .400 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 5 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .400 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .166 |
| Tall Bob Bob | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .166 |
| Hereditary Bobina | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Roy (Captain Emeritus) | 9 | 4 | 1 | 2 | .444 |
| Hank (The Real Captain) | 6 | 3 | 0 | 2 | .500 |
| Chuck (Co-Captain) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .666 |
| Steve (Also Captain) | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .200 |
| Wayne (Disputed Captain) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Hank (Allegedly Captain) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Stan (Also Captain) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Earl (Disputed Captain) | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Earl (Captain Emeritus) | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Bobs @ Boats (Dad's Dock) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Something is wrong with the air. Steve (Also Captain) singles. The other Captains weigh in. Wayne (Disputed Captain) works a hit, then yells something about thermostats. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Roy (Captain Emeritus) hits a long fly past the dock. Several Captains insist they could have caught it. Hank (The Real Captain) drives one. A different Captain says something about marine batteries. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Tall Bob Bob hits one off the wall. The Bobs cheer, then immediately regroup against the cheering Bob. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Hank (The Real Captain) singles. Two other Captains compare grills. Roy (Captain Emeritus) singles, looking up, briefly noticing a cloud. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Reformed Bobstradamus (settling scores) singles, sneers at a different Bob. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Hank (The Real Captain) (Captain) takes a thoughtful swing. Stan (Also Captain) (knot-untying) drives one. A different Captain says something about marine batteries. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Reformed Bobstradamus (settling scores) steps in. Three Bobs in the on-deck circle accuse each other of treason. Small Bob-3000 (settling scores) drives one to right. Three Bobs simultaneously call timeout for unrelated reasons. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Small Bob-3000 (settling scores) works the count. A Bob in the stands stands up and announces he is leaving the war. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Chuck (Co-Captain) swings, makes contact, and immediately criticizes his own follow-through. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Roy (Captain Emeritus) works a hit. A discussion of knot-tying breaks out at first base. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Greater Bob Bob lashes one down the line. Other Bobs claim partial credit. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at Dad's Dock. The boat takes on a little water. FINAL: Bobs 2 — Boats 9