Bob's Cousin Bob

File opened under “Ground Rule Agent.” A legal name exists. It is not used. Ask any usher — a favorite of the night shift at the Steakhouse.

Walkup: “Foghorn into smooth jazz.” The organist was not consulted. Scouts agree on one point only: cannot pitch after hearing static.

A concessions vendor volunteered the following: “Filed a noise complaint against their own stadium. It was upheld.”