FHTV · TEAM PROFILE
The Bobs
The Bob Pit
5–2 (0.714) · 56 RF / 50 RA · RD 6
FHTV SCOUTING: power WARM · glove STEADY · soul LOUD
The Great Bob War is ongoing. The Hellball season is a scheduled interruption. The Bobs agreed to a ceasefire long enough to compete, pool the winnings, and fund the next phase of the war. Bob feuds still erupt mid-game — usually around the sixth uhhh, always about something from three seasons ago. No confirmed roster has ever remained accurate for an entire season. Entire forums exist solely to argue about which Bob is the real Bob. The league does not adjudicate this. The league will not adjudicate this.
“WE HAVE NOTHING ELSE.”
- Largest and most internally hostile fanbase in the league. This is considered a strength.
- Pre-game rituals vary by Bob faction. Several involve treaties. One involves a notary.
- FHTV correspondents embed at the Pit during ceasefire periods.
- The Bob War is ongoing. The Hellball season is a scheduled interruption.
- At least four Bobs have filed official complaints about at least four other Bobs this season.
- Fans consider emotional instability a competitive advantage.
- Fans rotate seats by inning. Reason: tradition.
- Fans theorize that the 12-Inning Silence is ongoing.
- The seventh-inning stretch is performed facing the wrong direction here.
- Rival sections yell: “Their strengths are: filing paperwork, holding grudges, and occasionally hitting.”
ACTIVE ROSTER
| Name | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA | Vibe | Item |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tall Bob Bob hot 4 BLESSED | 26 | 9 | 2 | 5 | .346 | muttering | a treaty draft |
| “Rain Delay Ralph” · has never once looked at the third-base coach · Banned from the stadium organ. The organist won't discuss it. | |||||||
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife hot 6 CURSED | 27 | 11 | 0 | 7 | .407 | uneasy ceasefire | a treaty draft |
| “Dial Tone Danny” · claims to have predicted last season's collapse · Reported missing during a rain delay. Returned with groceries. | |||||||
| Greater Bob Bob | 37 | 7 | 2 | 3 | .189 | war-weary | a scorched flag |
| “Divorce Mike the Younger” · has never once looked at the third-base coach · Said to have taught Saint Static the changeup. Unverifiable. | |||||||
| Small Bob-3000 | 36 | 17 | 2 | 12 | .472 | settling scores | a knife |
| “Loud Warning” · warmed up to Slurm Basement once and won't stop · Claims their bat is on a payment plan. | |||||||
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 24 | 7 | 1 | 4 | .291 | muttering | a treaty draft |
| “The Reset” · arrives exactly nine minutes late to everything · Featured in a lost GBTV replay. | |||||||
| Hereditary Bobina | 25 | 3 | 0 | 3 | .120 | muttering | a grudge |
| “The Concourse Ghost” · salutes the scoreboard whether or not it is on · Once traded a signed jersey for directions. Would not say to where. | |||||||
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 25 | 7 | 0 | 5 | .280 | knife-adjacent | a knife |
| “Ground Rule Agent” · cannot pitch after hearing static · Filed a noise complaint against their own stadium. It was upheld. | |||||||
| Hungover Bob-3000 BLESSED | 29 | 10 | 3 | 9 | .344 | settling scores | a treaty draft |
| “Infield Phantom Still” · has never once looked at the third-base coach · Claims their bat is on a payment plan. | |||||||
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 33 | 11 | 0 | 8 | .333 | settling scores | a knife |
| “The Reset” · salutes the scoreboard whether or not it is on · Survived three mascot incidents. | |||||||
HEAD-TO-HEAD · THIS SEASON
| Opponent | W | L |
|---|---|---|
| Boat Boys | 1 | 1 |
| Outback Knives | 3 | 1 |
| Level 42 | 1 | 0 |
RECENT GAMES