The Bobs

The Bob Pit

7–5 (0.583) · 120 RF / 89 RA · RD 31

FHTV SCOUTING: power WARM · glove STEADY · soul LOUD

The Great Bob War is ongoing. The Hellball season is a scheduled interruption. The Bobs agreed to a ceasefire long enough to compete, pool the winnings, and fund the next phase of the war. Bob feuds still erupt mid-game — usually around the sixth uhhh, always about something from three seasons ago. No confirmed roster has ever remained accurate for an entire season. Entire forums exist solely to argue about which Bob is the real Bob. The league does not adjudicate this. The league will not adjudicate this.

“WE HAVE NOTHING ELSE.”

• Largest and most internally hostile fanbase in the league. This is considered a strength.
• Pre-game rituals vary by Bob faction. Several involve treaties. One involves a notary.
• FHTV correspondents embed at the Pit during ceasefire periods.
• The Bob War is ongoing. The Hellball season is a scheduled interruption.
• At least four Bobs have filed official complaints about at least four other Bobs this season.
• Fans consider emotional instability a competitive advantage.
• Fans rotate seats by inning. Reason: tradition.
• Fans theorize that the 12-Inning Silence is ongoing.
• The seventh-inning stretch is performed facing the wrong direction here.
• Rival sections yell: “Their strengths are: filing paperwork, holding grudges, and occasionally hitting.”