Greater Bob Bob

File opened under “Divorce Mike the Younger.” A legal name exists. It is not used. The book on them is short: the subject of a chant that predates them.

Approaches the plate to: “Highterion Collection theme, slowed dangerously.” Observed: has never once looked at the third-base coach.

One item from the rumor file, which is thicker than the stat file: “Said to have taught Saint Static the changeup. Unverifiable.”