Hungover Bob-3000

Goes by “Infield Phantom Still.” We have three theories about why and endorse none of them. Ask any usher — a Saint Static frequency favorite.

The walkup is “Cool-Aire compressor feedback remix.” We asked why, once. Observed: has never once looked at the third-base coach.

One item from the rumor file, which is thicker than the stat file: “Claims their bat is on a payment plan.”