Outback Knives 9 — 4 Boat Boys
BROADCAST DETAILS
AURELIA “Evening. Knives, Boats, Dad's Dock. I've seen the numbers. The numbers have seen me. Neither of us is happy about it.”
HEX “Don't finish that sentence. It comes true if you finish it.”
AURELIA “Your last three predictions were wrong.”
HEX “They haven't happened *yet*. There's a difference.”
AURELIA “There is genuinely not.”
AURELIA “Phyllis Looms is the one to model tonight. Street name “Overtime Edna Jr.”. Pre-plate ritual: Slurm Basement at unsafe volume.”
AURELIA “The Knives section has settled on “THEY KNOW WE'RE HERE” for tonight's chant. Volume suggests conviction. Conviction suggests losses at the window.”
AURELIA “1 apiece after 4 uhohs. The books hate a tie. The crowd — currently spider-killed — disagrees. Loudly.”
HEX “A tie this late is its own kind of crime.”
HEX “A whistle was heard from beneath the stadium. ...I'm going to pretend that wasn't in the dream. It was in the dream.”
HEX “Knives by a single run through 7. A one-run lead is a door left open. Something is going to walk through it.”
AURELIA “Vendors briefly stopped accepting cash.”
AURELIA “For the record, tarot is not a forecasting methodology.”
HEX “For the record, neither is grief, and yet — your spreadsheets.”
HEX “It ends 9–4, exactly as the dream showed me. Soul of the game: Constance of the Veil, 3-for-4 with 2 home runs. The dream also showed next week. No further comment.”
HEX “The broadcast ends. The game continues somewhere. It always does. Goodnight.”
AURELIA “...yeah. Goodnight.”
Knives 0 0 1 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 6 R 9
Boats 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 R 4
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Phyllis Looms | 6 | 3 | 0 | 2 | .500 |
| Constance of the Veil | 4 | 3 | 2 | 3 | .750 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 5 | 2 | 1 | 1 | .400 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 7 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .142 |
| Florence Drift | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Hilda the Reach | 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | .250 |
| Hilda Edgewise | 7 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Mavis the Towering | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Roy (Captain Emeritus) | 6 | 2 | 1 | 0 | .333 |
| Empty Manila Folder Boris | 5 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .400 |
| Steve (Also Captain) | 8 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .125 |
| Chuck (Co-Captain) | 6 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .166 |
| Wayne (Disputed Captain) | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
| Stan (Also Captain) | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hank (Allegedly Captain) | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Earl (Captain Emeritus) | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hank (The Real Captain) | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Knives @ Boats (Dad's Dock) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at Dad's Dock. The boat takes on a little water. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at Dad's Dock. The boat takes on a little water. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at Dad's Dock. The boat takes on a little water. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Constance of the Veil swings through the bat and still hits the ball. Beryl the Unsmiling (looming) is here. Then she's there. Then she's hit a single. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Chuck (Co-Captain) HAMMERS a home run. Four Captains immediately offer unsolicited grilling advice. Roy (Captain Emeritus) bats. Several Captains stand at the rail and grimace knowingly. Wayne (Disputed Captain) singles. The flare goes off, accidentally. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Empty Manila Folder Boris singles. The other Captains weigh in. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── The scoreboard flickers. Constance of the Veil sends one out. The neon sign reading 'STEAKS' sputters meaningfully. Phyllis Looms drifts up to the plate. The bat hovers. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Empty Manila Folder Boris singles. The flare goes off, accidentally. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at Dad's Dock. The boat takes on a little water. ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at Dad's Dock. The boat takes on a little water. ─── top of the 10th ───────────────────────── extra innings: top of the 10th Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── bot of the 10th ───────────────────────── Three up, three down at Dad's Dock. The boat takes on a little water. ─── top of the 11th ───────────────────────── extra innings: top of the 11th The umpire shudders. Hilda the Reach (incorporeal) sends a home run into the parking lot. The valet, who is also a ghost, shrugs. Phyllis Looms drives one. The catcher politely notes she could not see Phyllis Looms swing. Beryl the Unsmiling slices one down the line. ─── bot of the 11th ───────────────────────── Steve (Also Captain) swings, makes contact, and immediately criticizes his own follow-through. Roy (Captain Emeritus) hammers a base hit while several dads adjust their hats. FINAL: Knives 9 — Boats 4