Outback Knives 16 — 5 Level 42
BROADCAST DETAILS
RIOT “WELCOME TO THE HELLEVATOR. TONIGHT: KNIVES. LVL42. CONSEQUENCES. In that order.”
VESPER “Someone check on the bullpen before we start. Actually — don't. Let it happen.”
RIOT “FEATURED SOUL: MAVIS EDGEWISE. “The Replacement”. that walkup changed me. The FHTV signoff, which alarms everyone.”
VESPER “Word around the league: described by Aurelia as 'statistically inadvisable'.”
VESPER “The Knives section is already chanting “THE BAT BOY KNOWS SOMETHING” as the 2nd uhoh begins. Beautiful. Concerning. Both.”
RIOT “ha. HA.”
RIOT “SCOREBOARD: KNIVES 4, LVL42 2. 4 DOWN. IT'S A LEAD. IT'S NOT SAFE. NOTHING IS SAFE.”
VESPER “The locals are becoming unreasonable.”
RIOT “IT'S 9–2. I'VE SEEN ENOUGH. I HAVEN'T. KEEP GOING. BUT I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.”
VESPER “Public address system has stopped narrating.”
RIOT “Overheard in the stands just now, and I quote: “The third-base line was moved eleven years ago. Nobody from the league will confirm this. Several fans have photographic evidence.””
RIOT “IT'S OVER. KNIVES WIN 16–5. SOUL OF THE GAME: FLORENCE DRIFT, 6-FOR-8 WITH 1 HOME RUN. i need to sit down. I'M NOT GOING TO. but i need to.”
VESPER “We're done here. The field isn't — but we are. Goodnight, everyone.”
RIOT “WORTH IT. GOODNIGHT.”
Knives 0 1 3 0 4 1 1 5 1 R 16
Lvl42 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 2 0 R 5
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Florence Drift | 8 | 6 | 1 | 5 | .750 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 6 | 4 | 0 | 2 | .666 |
| Constance of the Veil | 7 | 3 | 1 | 3 | .428 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 5 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .400 |
| Hilda the Reach | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .666 |
| Phyllis Looms | 6 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .166 |
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 5 | 1 | 1 | 1 | .200 |
| Hilda Edgewise | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Mavis the Towering | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin | 12 | 4 | 0 | 3 | .333 |
| Birthday Card Margaret | 2 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .1000 |
| Empty Manila Folder Boris | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .200 |
| Suspiciously Damp Carl | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .200 |
| Forgotten Gym Bag Janice | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .200 |
| Wet Umbrella Dennis | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
| Coffee Cup Margaret | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Tepid Soup Karen | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Knives @ Lvl42 (The Hellevator) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Scoreless. The doors briefly hint at opening, then think better of it. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin singles. The PA system plays the same eight bars again. Empty Manila Folder Boris (hum-along) hits a soft liner. A lobby plant trembles. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Hilda the Unsmiling (incorporeal) drifts a swing and the ball does not come down for several seconds. Hilda the Reach drifts up to the plate. The bat hovers. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin (floor 42 stare) singles. The doors do not open. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Mavis Edgewise (drifting) floats a line drive past the diving fielder. Beryl the Unsmiling drives one. The catcher politely notes she could not see Beryl the Unsmiling swing. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Scoreless. The doors briefly hint at opening, then think better of it. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Quiet inning. The floor display ticks: 42, 42, 42. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Quiet inning. The floor display ticks: 42, 42, 42. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── The lights dim, brighten, and dim again. Constance of the Veil (looming) hits one so hard the steakhouse smells momentarily of burning. Mavis Edgewise (drifting) takes a long, ghostly swing and singles. Florence Drift (polite menace) carves a base hit through the gap. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Wet Umbrella Dennis swings during the chorus. The bat connects. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Hilda the Reach carves a base hit through the gap. Beryl the Unsmiling makes contact. The ball seems hesitant. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Scoreless. The doors briefly hint at opening, then think better of it. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Hilda Edgewise (polite menace) drifts up to the plate. The bat hovers. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Birthday Card Margaret singles. The elevator hum rises in pitch. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── The umpire shudders. Constance of the Veil crushes one. The ball is later found pre-sliced. Beryl the Unsmiling slices one down the line. Florence Drift takes a long, ghostly swing and singles. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Forgotten Gym Bag Janice drives one to deep left while humming. Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin taps a hit. Briefcase Linda nods. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── The umpire shudders. Florence Drift settles into a stance taller than the umpire and singles. ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── Quiet inning. The floor display ticks: 42, 42, 42. FINAL: Knives 16 — Lvl42 5