Boat Boys 22 — 2 Level 42
BROADCAST DETAILS
VESPER “It's us again~ Boats at Lvl42. If you're just tuning in: don't worry about the sirens earlier. Unrelated. Probably.”
HEX “Don't finish that sentence. It comes true if you finish it.”
VESPER “Hex, sweetheart, you're doing the thousand-yard stare again.”
HEX “The yard stares back, Vesper.”
VESPER “...and we're rolling!”
VESPER “Featured soul of the game: Suspiciously Damp Phil, aka “The Pre-Game Omen”. Their walkup? Hold music from the league front office. Iconic behavior, no notes.”
HEX ““WE HAVE NOT LEFT” rises from the Boats section. I heard it before they said it. I always do. It's exhausting.”
VESPER “The Lvl42 section is in mid-season form already. Case in point: Supporters believe the outcome was already decided, but disagree about by whom.”
HEX “Boats by a landslide, 10–0. Even the spirits have stopped taking notes. One of them left.”
VESPER “Fans are chanting refund prayers.”
VESPER “Boats are up 16–1. Through 6. It has stopped being a contest and started being a documentary.”
HEX “It was Boats running away with it when I last spoke. I said nothing then. You understand now why I said nothing.”
HEX “Final score 22–2. Boats prevail. Soul of the game: Hank (Allegedly Captain), 6-for-10. The cards knew. The cards always know. The cards are insufferable.”
VESPER “And our featured soul Suspiciously Damp Phil — you saw it here first ♡”
VESPER “We're done here. The field isn't — but we are. Goodnight, everyone.”
HEX “The parking lot situation is now your problem. I saw it. Goodnight.”
Boats 1 1 1 7 0 6 0 1 5 R 22
Lvl42 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 R 2
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hank (Allegedly Captain) | 10 | 6 | 0 | 5 | .600 |
| Chuck (Co-Captain) | 10 | 4 | 1 | 4 | .400 |
| Steve (Also Captain) | 7 | 4 | 0 | 3 | .571 |
| Roy (Captain Emeritus) | 3 | 3 | 0 | 3 | .1000 |
| Earl (Captain Emeritus) | 8 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .250 |
| Earl (Disputed Captain) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Suspiciously Damp Carl | 6 | 1 | 1 | 1 | .166 |
| Forgotten Gym Bag Janice | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Coffee Cup Margaret | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .500 |
| Suspiciously Damp Phil | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Birthday Card Margaret | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Empty Manila Folder Boris | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Wet Umbrella Dennis | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Tepid Soup Karen | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Boats @ Lvl42 (The Hellevator) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Earl (Captain Emeritus) hits one to right. The Boat Boys begin a story about a boat. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Hellevator. The hum continues. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Wayne (Disputed Captain) swings, makes contact, and immediately criticizes his own follow-through. Steve (Also Captain) (knot-untying) works a hit, then yells something about thermostats. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Scoreless. The doors briefly hint at opening, then think better of it. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Hank (Allegedly Captain) singles, looking up, briefly noticing a cloud. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Coffee Cup Margaret singles. The mirrored ceiling reveals nothing useful. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── The scoreboard flickers. Earl (Captain Emeritus) (loud about lawns) singles, looking up, briefly noticing a cloud. Roy (Captain Emeritus) hits one to the gap. A different Captain explains how he would have hit it harder. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Quiet inning. The floor display ticks: 42, 42, 42. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Quiet inning. The floor display ticks: 42, 42, 42. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Forgotten Gym Bag Janice sends a base hit between the mirrored panels. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── The lights dim, brighten, and dim again. Chuck (Co-Captain) hits a long fly past the dock. Several Captains insist they could have caught it. Hank (Allegedly Captain) hammers one past the diving second baseman. The dads applaud their own dock. Wayne (Disputed Captain) (loud about lawns) works a hit, then yells something about thermostats. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Hellevator. The hum continues. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Quiet inning. The floor display ticks: 42, 42, 42. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Hellevator. The hum continues. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Steve (Also Captain) (knot-untying) (Captain) takes a thoughtful swing. Hank (Allegedly Captain) hits one to the gap. A different Captain explains how he would have hit it harder. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Suspiciously Damp Carl (elevator-trance) sends one out as the bridge plays. The carpet smells different now. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── The umpire shudders. Steve (Also Captain) hits one to right. The Boat Boys begin a story about a boat. Wayne (Disputed Captain) singles. Two other Captains compare grills. ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Hellevator. The hum continues. FINAL: Boats 22 — Lvl42 2