The Bobs 6 — 8 Outback Knives
Underworld Series
♡ Onion Mist at the Steakhouse. The Knives smell SHARP.
♡ Crown them, crown them now~ ♡
BROADCAST DETAILS
AURELIA “Bobs at Knives. Someone wins this. The books decline to say more, and frankly so do I.”
VESPER “What she said. Roll the thing, boys.”
AURELIA “Weather desk confirms Onion Mist. Historically that moves the line, and occasionally a roster.”
AURELIA “Underworld Series game. Playoff rules — no ties. Somebody leaves this stadium a loser, and the books already know who they think it is.”
VESPER “Aurelia's been staring at the same number for ten minutes.”
AURELIA “The number moved. I want to know why the number moved.”
VESPER “It's afraid of you. We all are, a little ♡”
AURELIA “Watch Empty Manila Folder Boris. The numbers like them. The numbers won't say why. “Two-Beer Marvin,” apparently.”
VESPER “Word around the league: respected by Knives ushers, which is rare.”
AURELIA ““WE DROVE SO FAR” — that's the Knives crowd, 2nd uhoh. The chant-to-runs correlation remains unproven. They keep chanting. I keep noting it.”
VESPER “Write that down, someone. Anyone.”
VESPER “A note about the Bobs crowd tonight~ The fanbase has negotiated with weather on at least one documented occasion.”
VESPER “Bobs by a few, 4–2 after 3. Plenty of baseball left. That's a threat, by the way.”
AURELIA “Concession lines have stopped moving.”
AURELIA “Noting for the record: A whistle was heard from beneath the stadium. The record grows stranger by the season and nobody will let me archive it.”
VESPER “Write that down, someone. Anyone.”
SAINT STATIC “i tried being a weather once. they took it off the schedule.”
VESPER “Saint Static, everyone. We don't book them. They book themselves.”
VESPER “Through 6: Knives up 7–5. Not a blowout, not a nail-biter — the forgotten middle child of scorelines. Crowd: financially unstable.”
AURELIA “Earlier reading had the crowd throwing things. Revised reading: worse. Or better. Depends on your position.”
VESPER “That's the ballgame~ Final: Bobs 6, Knives 8. Soul of the game: Tall Bob Bob, 4-for-6 with 1 home run. Drive home carefully. Or don't — I'm a broadcast, not your mother.”
AURELIA “I'm not dignifying that. It's correct, but I'm not dignifying it.”
AURELIA “Books closed. Bets settled. Records archived. Goodnight.”
VESPER “Goodnight, everyone~ ♡”
SAINT STATIC “they said goodnight. i am what happens after goodnight.”
- 🌫 ONION MIST: Beryl the Unsmiling (Knives) gains 1 POWER (now 6.6).
Bobs 1 0 0 3 1 0 0 0 1 R 6
Knives 1 1 0 0 0 5 0 1 X R 8
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tall Bob Bob | 6 | 4 | 1 | 1 | .666 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 6 | 3 | 0 | 2 | .500 |
| Hereditary Bobina | 5 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .400 |
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .200 |
| Small Bob-3000 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Vera Looms | 4 | 3 | 1 | 3 | .750 |
| Constance of the Veil | 5 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .400 |
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .500 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Empty Manila Folder Boris | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Mavis the Towering | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hilda the Reach | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hank (Allegedly Captain) | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Bobs @ Knives (The Steakhouse) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob singles. Somewhere a Bob is sharpening something. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Constance of the Veil swings through the bat and still hits the ball. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Constance of the Veil hovers, then strikes a base hit through the 5-6 hole. Knives (home): 1 run, 1 hit ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Hungover Bob-3000 fouls one off and points at another Bob. Reasons unclear. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Something is wrong with the air. Hereditary Bobina singles. Somewhere a Bob is sharpening something. Small Bob-3000 pokes a hit. The clipboard-Bobs make a note. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Tall Bob Bob hits one off the wall. The Bobs cheer, then immediately regroup against the cheering Bob. Reformed Bobstradamus drives one into the gap. Two Bobs nearly come to blows in the dugout. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── The crowd is no longer a crowd, exactly. Vera Looms (looming) powers one over the wall. A complimentary side flies into the stands. Mavis Edgewise (drifting) carves a base hit through the gap. Hilda the Unsmiling is here. Then she's there. Then she's hit a single. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Tall Bob Bob works a long at-bat under pointed Bob scrutiny. Bob's Cousin Bob (knife-adjacent) fouls one off and points at another Bob. Reasons unclear. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Hereditary Bobina lashes one down the line. Other Bobs claim partial credit. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Hilda the Unsmiling (incorporeal) drives one. The catcher politely notes she could not see Hilda the Unsmiling swing. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob BLASTS one out of the Bob Pit. The Bobs riot, then unify, then riot again. Tall Bob Bob drives one to right. Three Bobs simultaneously call timeout for unrelated reasons. FINAL: Bobs 6 — Knives 8 WEATHER: Onion Mist 🌫 ONION MIST: Beryl the Unsmiling (Knives) gains 1 POWER (now 6.6).