Boat Boys 2 — 6 Outback Knives
♡ Blessing weather~ ♡ Free upgrade incoming!
BROADCAST DETAILS
AURELIA “Tonight's matchup: Boats at Knives. The line has moved four times. It apologized once. I accepted, professionally.”
VESPER “Mm. I was going to disagree and then I looked at the field.”
AURELIA “It's Blessing. I ran the numbers on what that does to batting averages and then I closed the spreadsheet and took a walk.”
VESPER “Tonight we're watching Empty Manila Folder Boris. “Two-Beer Marvin,” to the faithful. The walkup alone — Foghorn into smooth jazz. — I mean. Come on.”
VESPER “The Boats section is already chanting “NOT AGAIN. NOT AGAIN. (AGAIN.)” as the 2nd uhoh begins. Beautiful. Concerning. Both.”
VESPER “We're all tied at 1 through 4, and the crowd has gone transcendent. Love that for us.”
AURELIA “Every chant sounds like a warning.”
AURELIA “Incident: Several mascots are currently missing. I'll allow it. Not that anyone asked me.”
VESPER “We're all tied at 2 through 6, and the crowd has gone booing the moon. Love that for us.”
AURELIA “Concession workers have stopped pretending to work.”
AURELIA “Knives close it out, 6–2. Soul of the game: Hank (Allegedly Captain), 3-for-5 with 1 home run. The closing line was... close. I'll take it. I'll take anything at this point.”
VESPER “All that under Blessing, no less. This league~”
AURELIA “Margins held. Some didn't. Settling accordingly. Goodnight.”
VESPER “We are emotionally archived too. Goodnight.”
- ✨ BLESSING: Beryl the Unsmiling gains 1 GLOVE (now 3.3).
Boats 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 R 2
Knives 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 4 R 6
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Forgotten Gym Bag Janice | 5 | 3 | 0 | 0 | .600 |
| Chuck (Co-Captain) | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .200 |
| Wayne (Disputed Captain) | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .200 |
| Roy (Captain Emeritus) | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
| Steve (Also Captain) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Stan (Also Captain) | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Florence Drift | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Earl (Disputed Captain) | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hank (The Real Captain) | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 7 | 3 | 0 | 3 | .428 |
| Hank (Allegedly Captain) | 5 | 3 | 1 | 0 | .600 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 4 | 2 | 0 | 0 | .500 |
| Mavis the Towering | 6 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .166 |
| Constance of the Veil | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
| Hilda Edgewise | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | .333 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Hilda the Reach | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Boats @ Knives (The Steakhouse) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Hilda the Unsmiling reaches for one and somehow makes contact. Constance of the Veil carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Forgotten Gym Bag Janice fouls one off, mutters something nautical. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Wayne (Disputed Captain) singles. The other Captains weigh in. Steve (Also Captain) hammers one past the diving second baseman. The dads applaud their own dock. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Chuck (Co-Captain) hammers a base hit while several dads adjust their hats. Forgotten Gym Bag Janice works a hit, then yells something about thermostats. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Hilda the Unsmiling (incorporeal) drives one. The catcher politely notes she could not see Hilda the Unsmiling swing. Mavis Edgewise (drifting) settles into a stance taller than the umpire and singles. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Mavis Edgewise settles in over the plate, looming. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Hank (Allegedly Captain) crushes one. The dads briefly agree on something, then don't. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Hank (Allegedly Captain) works a hit, then yells something about thermostats. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Beryl the Unsmiling is here. Then she's there. Then she's hit a single. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── Several balls go missing and reappear. Mavis the Towering hits one so hard the steakhouse smells momentarily of burning. Hilda the Unsmiling (incorporeal) drives one past the third baseman. The complimentary side at her seat is now cold. Hilda Edgewise (polite menace) drives one. The catcher politely notes she could not see Hilda Edgewise swing. FINAL: Boats 2 — Knives 6 WEATHER: Blessing ✨ BLESSING: Beryl the Unsmiling gains 1 GLOVE (now 3.3).