Boat Boys 1 — 9 Outback Knives
♡ An Echo. Two souls trading dugouts on live broadcast. Audacious.
BROADCAST DETAILS
RIOT “I RAN HERE. BOATS AT KNIVES. THE GAME KNOWS I'M WATCHING.”
VESPER “What she said. Roll the thing, boys.”
VESPER “Conditions tonight: Echo. The league says it's fine. The league says a lot of things ♡”
VESPER “Riot. Riot, honey. The mic is right there, you don't need to—”
RIOT “THIS IS MY INSIDE VOICE.”
VESPER “Keep an eye on Empty Manila Folder Boris tonight — fans call them “Two-Beer Marvin”. Walkup ritual: Foghorn into smooth jazz.”
RIOT “Word around the league: respected by Knives ushers, which is rare.”
VESPER “The Knives section is already chanting “SOMETHING IS HAPPENING. PROBABLY THIS” as the 2nd uhoh begins. Beautiful. Concerning. Both.”
RIOT “KNIVES CROWD UPDATE: Fans take particular pride in ugly wins. RESPECT.”
VESPER “So it's 7–0 Knives through 3 and honestly? This one's getting rude. The crowd is riot-adjacent ⚡, which — fair.”
RIOT “The mercy rule is being discussed in private chat.”
VESPER “Hold on, I'm being handed a— okay. Emergency cleanup crew entered from the wrong tunnel. Sure. Yes. Moving on.”
RIOT “ha. HA.”
VESPER “Score update, if you can call it that: Knives, 8 to 0. The Boats dugout has gone very quiet. Very, very quiet ♡”
RIOT “AN HOUR AGO THE CROWD WAS RIOT-ADJACENT ⚡. LOOK AT THEM NOW. LOOK AT THEM.”
VESPER “And it's over! Knives take it 9–1. Soul of the game: Constance of the Veil, 3-for-6 with 2 home runs. What a night. What a sport. What *is* this sport.”
RIOT “NOBODY LEAVES UNTIL I DO. ...okay i'm leaving. GOODNIGHT.”
VESPER “Goodnight, everyone~ ♡”
- 🔁 ECHO: Constance of the Veil ↔ Hank (Allegedly Captain) swapped teams.
Boats 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 R 1
Knives 6 1 0 0 0 1 0 1 X R 9
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hank (The Real Captain) | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
| Stan (Also Captain) | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Florence Drift | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Chuck (Co-Captain) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Earl (Disputed Captain) | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Roy (Captain Emeritus) | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Wayne (Disputed Captain) | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Steve (Also Captain) | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hilda Edgewise | 7 | 3 | 1 | 2 | .428 |
| Constance of the Veil | 6 | 3 | 2 | 0 | .500 |
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 7 | 2 | 1 | 2 | .285 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 3 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .666 |
| Hank (Allegedly Captain) | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .166 |
| Mavis the Towering | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .166 |
| Hilda the Reach | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
--- Boats @ Knives (The Steakhouse) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── The crowd is no longer a crowd, exactly. Hilda the Reach drives one. The catcher politely notes she could not see Hilda the Reach swing. Florence Drift (polite menace) reaches for one and somehow makes contact. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Chuck (Co-Captain) swings and the ball clears the marina. Someone tries to take credit for the boat. Constance of the Veil (looming) singles, looking up, briefly noticing a cloud. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Mavis Edgewise settles into a stance taller than the umpire and singles. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Hank (The Real Captain) hits a slow grounder. The Captains nod approvingly at the technique. Constance of the Veil hits one to the gap. A different Captain explains how he would have hit it harder. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Mavis the Towering (looming) sends one out. The neon sign reading 'STEAKS' sputters meaningfully. Hilda Edgewise takes a long, ghostly swing and singles. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Constance of the Veil HAMMERS a home run. Four Captains immediately offer unsolicited grilling advice. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Hilda the Unsmiling (incorporeal) sends one out. The neon sign reading 'STEAKS' sputters meaningfully. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Beryl the Unsmiling slices one down the line. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Stan (Also Captain) (knot-untying) works a hit. A discussion of knot-tying breaks out at first base. FINAL: Boats 1 — Knives 9 WEATHER: Echo 🔁 ECHO: Constance of the Veil ↔ Hank (Allegedly Captain) swapped teams.