Level 42 2 — 15 The Bobs
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AURELIA “Evening. Lvl42, Bobs, The Bob Pit. I've seen the numbers. The numbers have seen me. Neither of us is happy about it.”
RIOT “...i got chills. ANYWAY. PLAY BALL.”
RIOT “HEADS UP — HERDS OF BADGERS. Literally. Heads. Up.”
RIOT “AURELIA. GIVE ME A NUMBER.”
AURELIA “Four.”
RIOT “PERFECT. NO NOTES. WHAT'S IT FOR.”
AURELIA “Nothing. You asked for a number.”
AURELIA “Scouting note on Suspiciously Damp Phil — “The Pre-Game Omen” to the fans. Walkup routine as follows: Hold music from the league front office. The books adjust accordingly. I don't ask how.”
RIOT “THEY'RE CHANTING “DO NOT LOOK UP”. do you hear them. DO YOU HEAR THEM.”
AURELIA “The Bobs fanbase, for the record: Fans in section *redacted* maintain records more accurate than the official ones. They don't share them. I no longer footnote it.”
AURELIA “7–0. At this margin the live line just reads 'yes'. Crowd's overconfident. The Lvl42 fans are researching next season.”
RIOT “The mercy rule is being discussed in private chat.”
AURELIA “Incident: The crowd wave became hostile. I'll allow it. Not that anyone asked me.”
RIOT “BOBS 14. LVL42 1. THAT'S NOT A SCORE THAT'S A CRIME SCENE.”
AURELIA “Overheard in the stands just now, and I quote: “Fans suspect Golden Chain invented paperwork specifically to weaken the franchise.””
RIOT “BOBS. 15–2. FINAL. SOUL OF THE GAME: EXHAUSTED BOB WITH A KNIFE, 5-FOR-8 WITH 1 HOME RUN. THAT'S THE GAME AND I'LL BE HEARING IT IN MY SLEEP.”
AURELIA “Played under Herds of Badgers, for those adjusting their models at home. You know who you are.”
AURELIA “Margins held. Some didn't. Settling accordingly. Goodnight.”
RIOT “WORTH IT. GOODNIGHT.”
- 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Greater Bob Bob can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 4.4).
- 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Tepid Soup Karen can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 2.0).
Lvl42 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 R 2
Bobs 0 4 3 2 5 0 1 0 X R 15
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Birthday Card Margaret | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Suspiciously Damp Carl | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
| Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .1000 |
| Suspiciously Damp Phil | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Tepid Soup Karen | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Coffee Cup Margaret | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Wet Umbrella Dennis | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 8 | 5 | 1 | 4 | .625 |
| Small Bob-3000 | 6 | 4 | 1 | 3 | .666 |
| Tall Bob Bob | 6 | 3 | 1 | 3 | .500 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .500 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 4 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Hereditary Bobina | 6 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .166 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .500 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Lvl42 @ Bobs (The Bob Pit) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── The lights dim, brighten, and dim again. Greater Bob Bob hits it deep and gone. A Bob in the stands declares the war over. Another Bob disagrees loudly. Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife bunts. The Bobs argue for nine straight minutes about what a bunt is. Exhausted Bob With A Knife (uneasy ceasefire) steps in. Three Bobs in the on-deck circle accuse each other of treason. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── A quiet inning. The Bobs of section 12 mutiny against the rest of section 12. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── The lights dim, brighten, and dim again. Tall Bob Bob (muttering) launches one. A Bob in the upper deck stands up and concedes the entire war, briefly. Exhausted Bob With A Knife singles. Somewhere a Bob is sharpening something. Reformed Bobstradamus (settling scores) fouls one off and points at another Bob. Reasons unclear. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Exhausted Bob With A Knife singles. Somewhere a Bob is sharpening something. Small Bob-3000 lashes one down the line. Other Bobs claim partial credit. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Empty Manila Folder Boris drills one to right. The lasagna cools further. Lvl42 (away): 1 run, 1 hit ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── The scoreboard flickers. Greater Bob Bob bunts. The Bobs argue for nine straight minutes about what a bunt is. Exhausted Bob With A Knife fouls one off and points at another Bob. Reasons unclear. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── A quiet inning. The Bobs of section 12 mutiny against the rest of section 12. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Tall Bob Bob sends one over the wall. Confused cheering, then booing, then more cheering. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── A quiet inning. The Bobs of section 12 mutiny against the rest of section 12. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Hungover Bob-3000 clubs a double. The Bob War temporarily dissolves into mutual envy. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Birthday Card Margaret (floor 42 stare) singles. The doors do not open. Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin taps a hit. Briefcase Linda nods. FINAL: Lvl42 2 — Bobs 15 WEATHER: Herds of Badgers 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Greater Bob Bob can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 4.4). 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Tepid Soup Karen can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 2.0).