The Bobs 6 — 7 Boat Boys
♡ Curse weather. One stat is going on a little vacation.
BROADCAST DETAILS
RIOT “BOBS AT BOATS AND THE AIR TASTES LIKE PENNIES. that's baseball weather, baby.”
AURELIA “Sure. Whatever the opposite of that was, hedge toward it.”
AURELIA “It's Curse. I ran the numbers on what that does to batting averages and then I closed the spreadsheet and took a walk.”
RIOT “THE BOOKS. WHAT DO THE BOOKS SAY.”
AURELIA “The books say please stop shouting at the books.”
AURELIA “Watch Wayne (Disputed Captain). The numbers like them. The numbers won't say why. “Interference Call,” apparently.”
AURELIA “The Boats section has settled on “ANOTHER ONE. ANOTHER ONE” for tonight's chant. Volume suggests conviction. Conviction suggests losses at the window.”
RIOT “LOOK AT THE BOATS SECTION. JUST LOOK. Half the section bets between innings. The other half bets aggressively.”
RIOT “TIED. 2 ALL. 3 UHOHS GONE. THE CROWD IS SLURMCORE POSSESSED AND FRANKLY SO AM I.”
AURELIA “The scoreboard is taking it personally.”
AURELIA “6–2. At this margin the live line just reads 'yes'. Crowd's dream-synced. The Bobs fans are researching next season.”
RIOT “A fan tried to start a wave. It died in section 3.”
RIOT “IT'S OVER. BOATS WIN 7–6. SOUL OF THE GAME: SMALL BOB-3000, 3-FOR-7. i need to sit down. I'M NOT GOING TO. but i need to.”
RIOT “DRINK WATER. RESPECT NOBODY. GOODNIGHT.”
AURELIA “...yeah. Goodnight.”
- 💀 CURSE: Tall Bob Bob loses 1 POWER (now 5.9).
Bobs 1 0 1 0 0 0 4 0 0 R 6
Boats 0 2 0 3 0 1 0 1 X R 7
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Small Bob-3000 | 7 | 3 | 0 | 3 | .428 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 6 | 2 | 1 | 2 | .333 |
| Hereditary Bobina | 6 | 2 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 5 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .400 |
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .166 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Tall Bob Bob | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hank (The Real Captain) | 4 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Chuck (Co-Captain) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .666 |
| Wayne (Disputed Captain) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Roy (Captain Emeritus) | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Steve (Also Captain) | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Stan (Also Captain) | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Earl (Captain Emeritus) | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Bobs @ Boats (Dad's Dock) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife hits it deep and gone. A Bob in the stands declares the war over. Another Bob disagrees loudly. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Empty Manila Folder Boris (hum-along) fouls one off, mutters something nautical. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Something is wrong with the air. Chuck (Co-Captain) gets ALL of one. The home crowd of dads claps in approving silence. Empty Manila Folder Boris swings, makes contact, and immediately criticizes his own follow-through. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife clubs a double. The Bob War temporarily dissolves into mutual envy. Hereditary Bobina slaps a hit while another Bob loudly disagrees with the call. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Empty Manila Folder Boris swings, makes contact, and immediately criticizes his own follow-through. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at Dad's Dock. The boat takes on a little water. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Wayne (Disputed Captain) (loud about lawns) drives one. A different Captain says something about marine batteries. Empty Manila Folder Boris lines a hit while explaining what a 'starboard' is to nobody in particular. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Hungover Bob-3000 singles, sneers at a different Bob. Hereditary Bobina lines a single. A neighboring Bob audibly considers a coup. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Hank (Allegedly Captain) hits a slow grounder. The Captains nod approvingly at the technique. Hank (The Real Captain) singles, looking up, briefly noticing a cloud. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── The crowd is no longer a crowd, exactly. Small Bob-3000 steps in. Three Bobs in the on-deck circle accuse each other of treason. Exhausted Bob With A Knife hits a sharp grounder. The ceasefire holds, barely. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Chuck (Co-Captain) drives one. A different Captain says something about marine batteries. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at Dad's Dock. The boat takes on a little water. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Hank (The Real Captain) lines a hit while explaining what a 'starboard' is to nobody in particular. Boats (home): 1 run, 1 hit ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Reformed Bobstradamus singles, sneers at a different Bob. FINAL: Bobs 6 — Boats 7 WEATHER: Curse 💀 CURSE: Tall Bob Bob loses 1 POWER (now 5.9).