Boat Boys 2 — 4 The Bobs
BROADCAST DETAILS
VESPER “Welcome back to Hellball. Boats at Bobs, The Bob Pit passed inspection this morning. Barely. Nobody ask which part failed.”
RIOT “...i got chills. ANYWAY. PLAY BALL.”
RIOT “RAINING HOTDOGS. OVER THE FIELD. RIGHT NOW. this is the best job in the world.”
VESPER “You know what I love about this booth? The dread. The camaraderie. The little fridge.”
RIOT “THE FRIDGE IS EMPTY.”
VESPER “The dread and the camaraderie, then.”
VESPER “Featured soul of the game: Stan (Also Captain), aka “The Void Closer”. Their walkup? Foghorn into smooth jazz. Iconic behavior, no notes.”
RIOT “THEY'RE CHANTING “NOT AGAIN. NOT AGAIN. (AGAIN.)”. do you hear them. DO YOU HEAR THEM.”
VESPER “One-run game, Boats on top, 3 uhohs in. My nails are gone. The crowd is emotionally invested. We are all doing great.”
VESPER “Through 6: Bobs up 3–1. Not a blowout, not a nail-biter — the forgotten middle child of scorelines. Crowd: dream-synced.”
RIOT “REMEMBER WHEN IT WAS BOATS BY ONE? SIMPLER TIMES. WE WERE SO YOUNG.”
VESPER “That's the ballgame~ Final: Boats 2, Bobs 4. Soul of the game: Hungover Bob-3000, 2-for-6 with 1 home run. Drive home carefully. Or don't — I'm a broadcast, not your mother.”
RIOT “AND THAT WAS *WITH* RAINING HOTDOGS GOING ON. UNBELIEVABLE.”
VESPER “We're done here. The field isn't — but we are. Goodnight, everyone.”
RIOT “WORTH IT. GOODNIGHT.”
- 🌭 RAINING HOTDOGS: Hank (The Real Captain) stopped to eat. +1 POWER (now 2.8), −0.5 SOUL (now 1.2).
Boats 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 R 2
Bobs 0 0 0 0 2 1 0 1 X R 4
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Chuck (Co-Captain) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .666 |
| Hank (Allegedly Captain) | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .200 |
| Hank (The Real Captain) | 4 | 1 | 1 | 0 | .250 |
| Earl (Captain Emeritus) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Stan (Also Captain) | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Steve (Also Captain) | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Earl (Disputed Captain) | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Wayne (Disputed Captain) | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Roy (Captain Emeritus) | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 6 | 2 | 1 | 2 | .333 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 7 | 1 | 1 | 0 | .142 |
| Hereditary Bobina | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | .333 |
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .500 |
| Tall Bob Bob | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .1000 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Small Bob-3000 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Boats @ Bobs (The Bob Pit) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── A quiet inning. The Bobs of section 12 mutiny against the rest of section 12. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── A quiet inning. The Bobs of section 12 mutiny against the rest of section 12. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Chuck (Co-Captain) singles. Two other Captains compare grills. Hank (Allegedly Captain) lines a hit while explaining what a 'starboard' is to nobody in particular. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Tall Bob Bob (muttering) CRACKS one over the centerfield wall. Several Bobs immediately try to enlist Tall Bob Bob. Greater Bob Bob (war-weary) singles. Somewhere a Bob is sharpening something. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Hank (The Real Captain) hits a no-doubter. A Captain wipes his eye and pretends he didn't. Earl (Captain Emeritus) singles, looking up, briefly noticing a cloud. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Hereditary Bobina BLASTS one out of the Bob Pit. The Bobs riot, then unify, then riot again. Hungover Bob-3000 singles, sneers at a different Bob. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife crushes a home run. The treaty is amended in real time. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Chuck (Co-Captain) (dad-coded) singles. Two other Captains compare grills. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── A quiet inning. The Bobs of section 12 mutiny against the rest of section 12. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Hungover Bob-3000 drives one into the gap. Two Bobs nearly come to blows in the dugout. Exhausted Bob With A Knife works a long at-bat under pointed Bob scrutiny. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. FINAL: Boats 2 — Bobs 4 WEATHER: Raining Hotdogs 🌭 RAINING HOTDOGS: Hank (The Real Captain) stopped to eat. +1 POWER (now 2.8), −0.5 SOUL (now 1.2).