Boat Boys 3 — 1 The Bobs
BROADCAST DETAILS
RIOT “BOATS AT BOBS AND THE AIR TASTES LIKE PENNIES. that's baseball weather, baby.”
VESPER “And I'm legally required to be here for it ♡”
VESPER “Conditions tonight: Raining Hotdogs. The league says it's fine. The league says a lot of things ♡”
RIOT “TALL BOB BOB. REMEMBER THE NAME. THE WALKUP ALONE: One (1) enormous bell. I'VE WATCHED IT NINE TIMES.”
VESPER “Word around the league: considered a 'fan of the stadium itself'.”
VESPER “Listen to that — Boats fans doing “WE ARE STILL HERE” in perfect sync. They practiced. You can tell they practiced ♡”
RIOT “SAY IT AGAIN. don't. it's better once.”
VESPER “It's Boats by a single run through 4 — 1 to 0 — and the crowd has gone fully emotionally invested.”
RIOT “The dugouts are emotionally armed.”
RIOT “INCIDENT REPORT: EMOTIONAL SUPPORT DRONE FAILURE REPORTED. NOBODY PANIC. KEEP PANICKING QUIETLY.”
VESPER “Write that down, someone. Anyone.”
RIOT “BOATS BY ONE. ONE RUN. 6 UHOHS DOWN. EVERY PITCH MATTERS NOW. THEY ALWAYS DID. NOW MORE.”
VESPER “A row of fans went broadcast pilled at the same time. Concerning.”
RIOT “vesper. vesper. vespervesperVESPER.”
VESPER “Yes ♡”
RIOT “BASEBALL.”
VESPER “Overheard in the stands just now, and I quote: “Golden Chain owns the naming rights to the air inside the stadium. Nobody can prove this isn't true.””
VESPER “And it's over! Boats take it 3–1. Soul of the game: Roy (Captain Emeritus), 2-for-4 with 1 home run. What a night. What a sport. What *is* this sport.”
RIOT “I'M ALREADY STANDING.”
RIOT “DRINK WATER. RESPECT NOBODY. GOODNIGHT.”
VESPER “Goodnight, everyone~ ♡”
- 🌭 RAINING HOTDOGS: Hereditary Bobina stopped to eat. +1 POWER (now 7.3), −0.5 SOUL (now 9.2).
Boats 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 R 3
Bobs 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 R 1
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Earl (Captain Emeritus) | 6 | 2 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Wayne (Disputed Captain) | 6 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Roy (Captain Emeritus) | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | .500 |
| Hank (The Real Captain) | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Chuck (Co-Captain) | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Stan (Also Captain) | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Steve (Also Captain) | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 4 | 1 | 1 | 0 | .250 |
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Small Bob-3000 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Tall Bob Bob | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hereditary Bobina | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Boats @ Bobs (The Bob Pit) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Earl (Captain Emeritus) works a hit, then yells something about thermostats. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Earl (Captain Emeritus) (loud about lawns) hits one to the gap. A different Captain explains how he would have hit it harder. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── A quiet inning. The Bobs of section 12 mutiny against the rest of section 12. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Hank (The Real Captain) hits one to the gap. A different Captain explains how he would have hit it harder. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── A quiet inning. The Bobs of section 12 mutiny against the rest of section 12. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Wayne (Disputed Captain) (loud about lawns) singles. Two other Captains compare grills. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob bunts. The Bobs argue for nine straight minutes about what a bunt is. Bobs (home): 1 run, 1 hit ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Hank (Allegedly Captain) works a hit. A discussion of knot-tying breaks out at first base. Wayne (Disputed Captain) hammers one past the diving second baseman. The dads applaud their own dock. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Roy (Captain Emeritus) singles. The other Captains weigh in. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Greater Bob Bob launches one. A Bob in the upper deck stands up and concedes the entire war, briefly. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Roy (Captain Emeritus) hits a no-doubter. A Captain wipes his eye and pretends he didn't. ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── A quiet inning. The Bobs of section 12 mutiny against the rest of section 12. FINAL: Boats 3 — Bobs 1 WEATHER: Raining Hotdogs 🌭 RAINING HOTDOGS: Hereditary Bobina stopped to eat. +1 POWER (now 7.3), −0.5 SOUL (now 9.2).