Outback Knives 8 — 10 Level 42
♡ Brimstone over the field! Someone's getting incinerated. Sorry-not-sorry.
BROADCAST DETAILS
AURELIA “Tonight's matchup: Knives at Lvl42. The line has moved four times. It apologized once. I accepted, professionally.”
VESPER “And I'm legally required to be here for it ♡”
VESPER “Conditions tonight: Brimstone. The league says it's fine. The league says a lot of things ♡”
VESPER “Aurelia's been staring at the same number for ten minutes.”
AURELIA “The number moved. I want to know why the number moved.”
VESPER “It's afraid of you. We all are, a little ♡”
AURELIA “Birthday Card Margaret is the one to model tonight. Street name “The Loop Error”. Pre-plate ritual: Last season's anthem in the wrong key.”
VESPER “And there's the first chant of the night from the Lvl42 faithful: “WE HAVE NOTHING ELSE”. ...sure. Sure!”
AURELIA “The Knives fanbase, for the record: Concession choices are considered a form of self-expression here. I no longer footnote it.”
VESPER “Lvl42 up by one. Just the one. Through 4. That's — yeah. That's a real grip on the armrest situation.”
VESPER “One-run game, Lvl42 on top, 6 uhohs in. My nails are gone. The crowd is overconfident. We are all doing great.”
AURELIA “For continuity: it was Lvl42 by one at the last check. The delta speaks for itself. It won't stop speaking, actually.”
VESPER “Give the people a prediction, Aurelia.”
AURELIA “No. The last one came true and everyone got weird about it.”
VESPER “Final score Knives 8, Lvl42 10. Soul of the game: Wet Umbrella Dennis, 5-for-9 with 1 home run. I laughed, I cried, I signed two waivers.”
VESPER “That's Hellball for tonight. Goodnight Future Hell~ ♡ Sleep with one ear open.”
AURELIA “...yeah. Goodnight.”
- ⚡ BRIMSTONE: Constance of the Veil (Knives) was incinerated. Replaced by Beryl the Towering.
Knives 2 0 0 1 0 1 2 0 2 R 8
Lvl42 1 0 1 2 1 0 1 0 4 R 10
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mavis the Towering | 7 | 2 | 1 | 1 | .285 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 6 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Florence Drift | 5 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .400 |
| Phyllis Looms | 2 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .1000 |
| Hilda Edgewise | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .200 |
| Hilda the Reach | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Wet Umbrella Dennis | 9 | 5 | 1 | 3 | .555 |
| Empty Manila Folder Boris | 5 | 3 | 0 | 1 | .600 |
| Suspiciously Damp Phil | 7 | 2 | 1 | 2 | .285 |
| Forgotten Gym Bag Janice | 4 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Suspiciously Damp Carl | 3 | 2 | 0 | 0 | .666 |
| Coffee Cup Margaret | 6 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .166 |
| Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Tepid Soup Karen | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Birthday Card Margaret | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Knives @ Lvl42 (The Hellevator) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Hilda the Reach takes a long, ghostly swing and singles. Beryl the Towering drifts up to the plate. The bat hovers. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Empty Manila Folder Boris singles. The PA system plays the same eight bars again. Wet Umbrella Dennis (between-floors) taps a hit. Briefcase Linda nods. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Hellevator. The hum continues. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Empty Manila Folder Boris swings on a 3-2 count. The chorus arrives, exquisitely. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Hellevator. The hum continues. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Wet Umbrella Dennis sends a home run into Floor 43, where it has never been observed. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Florence Drift singles. The Steakhouse smells more strongly. Mavis the Towering sets the knife down briefly to swing. Another Knife retrieves it. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Forgotten Gym Bag Janice (hum-along) taps a hit. Briefcase Linda nods. Wet Umbrella Dennis (between-floors) singles. The elevator hum rises in pitch. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Scoreless. The doors briefly hint at opening, then think better of it. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Forgotten Gym Bag Kevin swings during the chorus. The bat connects. Empty Manila Folder Boris singles. The doors do not open. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Mavis the Towering (looming) launches a knife-aided home run. The ball is also slightly cut. Beryl the Unsmiling (looming) carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Scoreless. The doors briefly hint at opening, then think better of it. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── The lights dim, brighten, and dim again. Hilda Edgewise (polite menace) drifts up to the plate. The bat hovers. Mavis Edgewise is here. Then she's there. Then she's hit a single. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Suspiciously Damp Phil sends one out as the bridge plays. The carpet smells different now. Suspiciously Damp Carl (elevator-trance) swings on a 3-2 count. The chorus arrives, exquisitely. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Phyllis Looms slices one down the line. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Quiet inning. The floor display ticks: 42, 42, 42. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── The crowd is no longer a crowd, exactly. Florence Drift floats a line drive past the diving fielder. Phyllis Looms sets the knife down briefly to swing. Another Knife retrieves it. ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── The crowd is no longer a crowd, exactly. Suspiciously Damp Phil swings during the chorus. The bat connects. Wet Umbrella Dennis taps a hit. Briefcase Linda nods. FINAL: Knives 8 — Lvl42 10 WEATHER: Brimstone ⚡ BRIMSTONE: Constance of the Veil (Knives) was incinerated. Replaced by Beryl the Towering.