The Bobs 8 — 9 Boat Boys
BROADCAST DETAILS
AURELIA “Evening. Bobs, Boats, Dad's Dock. I've seen the numbers. The numbers have seen me. Neither of us is happy about it.”
VESPER “And I'm legally required to be here for it ♡”
AURELIA “I brought spreadsheets tonight. Plural.”
VESPER “And I brought snacks. Between us we're one functional broadcaster.”
AURELIA “Watch Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife. The numbers like them. The numbers won't say why. “The Reset,” apparently.”
VESPER “Word around the league: universally feared in rain delay.”
VESPER “The Bobs section is already chanting “WE REMEMBER LAST YEAR” as the 2nd uhoh begins. Beautiful. Concerning. Both.”
AURELIA “Demographic note on the Boats section: Fans communicate primarily through chants and farts. This is considered normal here.”
VESPER “It's Boats by a single run through 3 — 3 to 2 — and the crowd has gone fully throwing things.”
AURELIA “The crowd believes too loudly.”
VESPER “Through 6: Boats up 4–2. Not a blowout, not a nail-biter — the forgotten middle child of scorelines. Crowd: crying together.”
VESPER “And it's over! Boats take it 9–8. Soul of the game: Hungover Bob-3000, 4-for-7 with 1 home run. What a night. What a sport. What *is* this sport.”
AURELIA “Margins held. Some didn't. Settling accordingly. Goodnight.”
VESPER “Goodnight, everyone~ ♡”
Bobs 0 2 0 0 0 0 1 5 0 R 8
Boats 1 1 1 0 1 0 3 2 X R 9
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 7 | 4 | 1 | 1 | .571 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 7 | 3 | 0 | 2 | .428 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 6 | 3 | 0 | 2 | .500 |
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 5 | 2 | 1 | 1 | .400 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Big Bobina | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
| Small Bob-3000 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Hank (The Real Captain) | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Steve (Also Captain) | 10 | 4 | 0 | 1 | .400 |
| Stan (Also Captain) | 8 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .250 |
| Hereditary Bobina | 4 | 2 | 0 | 0 | .500 |
| Hank (Allegedly Captain) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .666 |
| Chuck (Co-Captain) | 2 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .1000 |
| Earl (Captain Emeritus) | 6 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .166 |
| Roy (Captain Emeritus) | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .1000 |
| Earl (Disputed Captain) | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Bobs @ Boats (Dad's Dock) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Hungover Bob-3000 singles, sneers at a different Bob. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Stan (Also Captain) (knot-untying) hits a slow grounder. The Captains nod approvingly at the technique. Steve (Also Captain) (knot-untying) works a hit. A discussion of knot-tying breaks out at first base. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Reformed Bobstradamus launches one. A Bob in the upper deck stands up and concedes the entire war, briefly. Exhausted Bob With A Knife (uneasy ceasefire) pokes a hit. The clipboard-Bobs make a note. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Chuck (Co-Captain) (dad-coded) singles. Two other Captains compare grills. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Hungover Bob-3000 hits a sharp grounder. The ceasefire holds, barely. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Hank (Allegedly Captain) hammers one past the diving second baseman. The dads applaud their own dock. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Steve (Also Captain) (knot-untying) singles. The other Captains weigh in. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Exhausted Bob With A Knife works the count. A Bob in the stands stands up and announces he is leaving the war. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Steve (Also Captain) (knot-untying) singles. The other Captains weigh in. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Scoreless inning. A flare is almost wasted. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Reformed Bobstradamus lines a single. A neighboring Bob audibly considers a coup. Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife works the count. A Bob in the stands stands up and announces he is leaving the war. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Several balls go missing and reappear. Earl (Captain Emeritus) bats. Several Captains stand at the rail and grimace knowingly. Roy (Captain Emeritus) swings, makes contact, and immediately criticizes his own follow-through. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Something is wrong with the air. Small Bob-3000 BLASTS one out of the Bob Pit. The Bobs riot, then unify, then riot again. Hungover Bob-3000 hits one off the wall. The Bobs cheer, then immediately regroup against the cheering Bob. Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife hits one off the wall. The Bobs cheer, then immediately regroup against the cheering Bob. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Stan (Also Captain) singles. The other Captains weigh in. Chuck (Co-Captain) hits one to right. The Boat Boys begin a story about a boat. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Quiet at Dad's Dock. The Captains argue about who left the rope unsecured. FINAL: Bobs 8 — Boats 9