The Bobs 10 — 7 Outback Knives
BROADCAST DETAILS
VESPER “Hi hi hi. Bobs visiting Knives. The vibes on the drive in were... you know what, we'll get into it. Baseball!”
HEX “Somebody in this lineup hits a wall tonight. Possibly a literal one.”
VESPER “Keep an eye on Hungover Bob-3000 tonight — fans call them “Infield Phantom Still”. Walkup ritual: Cool-Aire compressor feedback remix.”
HEX “The Bobs fans are chanting “KILL THE UHOH”. The words are older than they know.”
HEX “The Bobs fans... hm. Section B has a smell. The section is proud of this. As foretold, honestly.”
HEX “The score stands 5–2, Bobs. The 5th uhoh approaches with intentions. I won't say whose.”
VESPER “The trailing bench is rotating through emotional support snacks.”
HEX “Tied at 7. The 7th uhoh will not stay polite. The crowd is already booing the moon. They can feel it too.”
VESPER “Last time I checked in, this crowd was hostile. They've progressed. I'm not sure toward what.”
VESPER “That's the ballgame~ Final: Bobs 10, Knives 7. Soul of the game: Hilda the Reach, 7-for-7 with 2 home runs. Drive home carefully. Or don't — I'm a broadcast, not your mother.”
HEX “I said watch Hungover Bob-3000. I don't say things twice. Except that. I said that twice.”
VESPER “Stick around for the late edition. Or don't. I'm tired and I love you. Goodnight.”
HEX “Until the next vision. Goodnight.”
Bobs 2 3 0 0 1 1 1 2 0 R 10
Knives 1 1 0 0 5 0 0 0 0 R 7
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Small Bob-3000 | 5 | 4 | 0 | 4 | .800 |
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 8 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 5 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .400 |
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | .500 |
| Hank (The Real Captain) | 7 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .142 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .200 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Big Bobina | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hilda the Reach | 7 | 7 | 2 | 4 | .1000 |
| Constance of the Veil | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | .750 |
| Hilda Edgewise | 7 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .142 |
| Mavis the Towering | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | .333 |
| Phyllis Looms | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Florence Drift | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Bobs @ Knives (The Steakhouse) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Hank (The Real Captain) works the count. A Bob in the stands stands up and announces he is leaving the war. Greater Bob Bob hits a sharp grounder. The ceasefire holds, barely. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Hilda the Reach sends a home run into the parking lot. The valet, who is also a ghost, shrugs. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Something is wrong with the air. Exhausted Bob With A Knife singles. Somewhere a Bob is sharpening something. Greater Bob Bob lines a single. A neighboring Bob audibly considers a coup. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Hilda the Reach (incorporeal) sails a hit through the infield without disturbing a single peanut shell. Constance of the Veil slices one down the line. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Hilda Edgewise sends one out. The neon sign reading 'STEAKS' sputters meaningfully. Hilda the Reach (incorporeal) slices one down the line. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Constance of the Veil reaches for one and somehow makes contact. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Small Bob-3000 steps in. Three Bobs in the on-deck circle accuse each other of treason. Bobs (away): 1 run, 1 hit ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── The crowd is no longer a crowd, exactly. Hilda the Reach powers one over the wall. A complimentary side flies into the stands. Beryl the Unsmiling drifts up to the plate. The bat hovers. Constance of the Veil settles into a stance taller than the umpire and singles. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Hungover Bob-3000 CRACKS one over the centerfield wall. Several Bobs immediately try to enlist Hungover Bob-3000. Exhausted Bob With A Knife hits one off the wall. The Bobs cheer, then immediately regroup against the cheering Bob. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Small Bob-3000 works the count. A Bob in the stands stands up and announces he is leaving the war. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Reformed Bobstradamus works a long at-bat under pointed Bob scrutiny. Small Bob-3000 slaps a hit while another Bob loudly disagrees with the call. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. FINAL: Bobs 10 — Knives 7