Boat Boys 3 — 7 The Bobs
♡ Curse weather. One stat is going on a little vacation.
BROADCAST DETAILS
VESPER “Welcome back to Hellball. Boats at Bobs, The Bob Pit passed inspection this morning. Barely. Nobody ask which part failed.”
HEX “The bat boy has been running since warmups. He knows something. He won't say.”
HEX “The sky says Curse. The sky rarely lies. The sky occasionally screams.”
VESPER “Tonight we're watching Hungover Bob-3000. “Infield Phantom Still,” to the faithful. The walkup alone — Cool-Aire compressor feedback remix. — I mean. Come on.”
HEX “The Bobs fans are chanting “THAT'S NOT HOW THAT WORKS. (IT WORKED.)”. The words are older than they know.”
VESPER “Write that down, someone. Anyone.”
VESPER “Score check~ Bobs lead it 6–3 through 3 uhohs. Comfortable, if you're them. The crowd is officially booing the moon.”
VESPER “Hold on, I'm being handed a— okay. One section began crying together. Play continued. Sure. Yes. Moving on.”
HEX “7–3, Bobs. I saw this score in the steam off my tea. I'd hoped it was the tea being dramatic.”
VESPER “The losing dugout is conducting a small ceremony.”
VESPER “Overheard in the stands just now, and I quote: “At least three fans maintain private databases of every uhoh by inning, weather, and moon phase. They don't share the data.””
HEX “It ends 3–7, exactly as the dream showed me. Soul of the game: Exhausted Bob With A Knife, 3-for-8 with 1 home run. The dream also showed next week. No further comment.”
VESPER “All that under Curse, no less. This league~”
VESPER “We're done here. The field isn't — but we are. Goodnight, everyone.”
HEX “The parking lot situation is now your problem. I saw it. Goodnight.”
- 💀 CURSE: Greater Bob Bob loses 1 POWER (now 4.5).
Boats 0 0 2 1 0 0 0 0 0 R 3
Bobs 1 3 2 0 0 1 0 0 X R 7
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Earl (Disputed Captain) | 4 | 2 | 0 | 0 | .500 |
| Chuck (Co-Captain) | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .666 |
| Stan (Also Captain) | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .200 |
| Roy (Captain Emeritus) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Steve (Also Captain) | 8 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hereditary Bobina | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hank (Allegedly Captain) | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Earl (Captain Emeritus) | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 8 | 3 | 1 | 1 | .375 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 5 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .400 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 5 | 2 | 1 | 2 | .400 |
| Tall Bob Bob | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .500 |
| Small Bob-3000 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | .1000 |
| Hank (The Real Captain) | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Boats @ Bobs (The Bob Pit) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── A quiet inning. The Bobs of section 12 mutiny against the rest of section 12. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife singles. Somewhere a Bob is sharpening something. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Chuck (Co-Captain) (dad-coded) hits one to right. The Boat Boys begin a story about a boat. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Something is wrong with the air. Exhausted Bob With A Knife sends one over the wall. Confused cheering, then booing, then more cheering. Greater Bob Bob (war-weary) works a long at-bat under pointed Bob scrutiny. Tall Bob Bob steps in. Three Bobs in the on-deck circle accuse each other of treason. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Wayne (Disputed Captain) swings, makes contact, and immediately criticizes his own follow-through. Roy (Captain Emeritus) (grilling-adjacent) hammers a base hit while several dads adjust their hats. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Small Bob-3000 (settling scores) sends one over the wall. Confused cheering, then booing, then more cheering. Hungover Bob-3000 lines a single. A neighboring Bob audibly considers a coup. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Chuck (Co-Captain) hammers a base hit while several dads adjust their hats. Earl (Disputed Captain) hammers one past the diving second baseman. The dads applaud their own dock. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── A quiet inning. The Bobs of section 12 mutiny against the rest of section 12. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── A quiet inning. The Bobs of section 12 mutiny against the rest of section 12. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife sends one over the wall. Confused cheering, then booing, then more cheering. Exhausted Bob With A Knife (uneasy ceasefire) singles. Somewhere a Bob is sharpening something. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Greater Bob Bob (war-weary) singles, sneers at a different Bob. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Earl (Disputed Captain) (knot-untying) hits one to right. The Boat Boys begin a story about a boat. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Reformed Bobstradamus (settling scores) works the count. A Bob in the stands stands up and announces he is leaving the war. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Exhausted Bob With A Knife (uneasy ceasefire) hits one off the wall. The Bobs cheer, then immediately regroup against the cheering Bob. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. FINAL: Boats 3 — Bobs 7 WEATHER: Curse 💀 CURSE: Greater Bob Bob loses 1 POWER (now 4.5).