The Bobs 11 — 9 Outback Knives
BROADCAST DETAILS
AURELIA “Evening. Bobs, Knives, The Steakhouse. I've seen the numbers. The numbers have seen me. Neither of us is happy about it.”
RIOT “SAY LESS. SAY NOTHING. IT'S TIME.”
AURELIA “Scouting note on Small Bob-3000 — “Loud Warning” to the fans. Walkup routine as follows: The seventh-uhoh stretch, unseasonably. The books adjust accordingly. I don't ask how.”
RIOT “THEY'RE CHANTING “ANOTHER ONE. ANOTHER ONE”. do you hear them. DO YOU HEAR THEM.”
AURELIA “Noted. Filed. Regretted.”
AURELIA “The Knives fanbase, for the record: Bad calls are met with thrown Outback Steakhouse napkins. I no longer footnote it.”
RIOT “BOBS 7. KNIVES 1. THAT'S NOT A SCORE THAT'S A CRIME SCENE.”
AURELIA “Home fans are workshopping increasingly creative complaints.”
AURELIA “Official incident log, for the bettors tracking such things: The crowd wave became hostile. No line movement. Yet.”
RIOT “BOBS BY ONE. ONE RUN. 6 UHOHS DOWN. EVERY PITCH MATTERS NOW. THEY ALWAYS DID. NOW MORE.”
AURELIA “The crowd has become spiritually hostile.”
RIOT “IT'S OVER. BOBS WIN 11–9. SOUL OF THE GAME: HILDA THE UNSMILING, 4-FOR-10. i need to sit down. I'M NOT GOING TO. but i need to.”
AURELIA “Margins held. Some didn't. Settling accordingly. Goodnight.”
RIOT “GOODNIGHT. I MEAN IT. GO.”
Bobs 1 6 0 0 1 0 0 1 2 R 11
Knives 0 1 0 0 1 5 1 1 0 R 9
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Small Bob-3000 | 7 | 4 | 0 | 4 | .571 |
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 7 | 3 | 0 | 3 | .428 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 5 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .400 |
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 8 | 1 | 1 | 1 | .125 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
| Tall Bob Bob | 3 | 1 | 1 | 0 | .333 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 10 | 4 | 0 | 3 | .400 |
| Hilda Edgewise | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 | .750 |
| Florence Drift | 5 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .400 |
| Hilda the Reach | 4 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Mavis the Towering | 3 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .666 |
| Constance of the Veil | 5 | 1 | 1 | 1 | .200 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Phyllis Looms | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Bobs @ Knives (The Steakhouse) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Exhausted Bob With A Knife (uneasy ceasefire) swings furiously. The other Bobs heckle. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Several balls go missing and reappear. Reformed Bobstradamus hits one off the wall. The Bobs cheer, then immediately regroup against the cheering Bob. Small Bob-3000 drives one into the gap. Two Bobs nearly come to blows in the dugout. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Hilda the Unsmiling floats a line drive past the diving fielder. Mavis Edgewise takes a long, ghostly swing and singles. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Hilda the Unsmiling (incorporeal) reaches for one and somehow makes contact. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Florence Drift (polite menace) carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Hungover Bob-3000 hammers a homer. The ceasefire holds for a full thirty seconds. Greater Bob Bob drives one to right. Three Bobs simultaneously call timeout for unrelated reasons. Tall Bob Bob pokes a hit. The clipboard-Bobs make a note. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Hilda the Unsmiling carves a base hit through the gap. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── The scoreboard flickers. Florence Drift (polite menace) powers one over the wall. A complimentary side flies into the stands. Hilda the Reach settles into a stance taller than the umpire and singles. Hilda the Unsmiling carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Hilda Edgewise (polite menace) launches a knife-aided home run. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Greater Bob Bob lashes one down the line. Other Bobs claim partial credit. Bobs (away): 1 run, 1 hit ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Constance of the Veil (looming) powers one over the wall. A complimentary side flies into the stands. Hilda the Reach takes a long, ghostly swing and singles. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Exhausted Bob With A Knife fouls one off and points at another Bob. Reasons unclear. Hereditary Bobina (muttering) singles. Somewhere a Bob is sharpening something. ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. FINAL: Bobs 11 — Knives 9