The Bobs 5 — 8 Outback Knives
Underworld Series
♡ THE CITY IS VIBRATING.
BROADCAST DETAILS
RIOT “WELCOME TO THE STEAKHOUSE. TONIGHT: BOBS. KNIVES. CONSEQUENCES. In that order.”
VESPER “And I'm legally required to be here for it ♡”
VESPER “Oh, and it's Eclipse. I'd say stay safe but you bought tickets to this, so.”
VESPER “Reminder, this is an UNDERWORLD SERIES game — everything counts double, emotionally speaking.”
RIOT “vesper. vesper. vespervesperVESPER.”
VESPER “Yes ♡”
RIOT “BASEBALL.”
VESPER “Tonight we're watching Empty Manila Folder Boris. “Two-Beer Marvin,” to the faithful. The walkup alone — Foghorn into smooth jazz. — I mean. Come on.”
RIOT “THE KNIVES SECTION IS CHANTING “KILL THE UHOH” AND HONESTLY? SAME.”
SAINT STATIC “the seventh uhoh is my favorite. it knows why.”
RIOT “I'M NOT SCARED. I'M LOUD. THOSE ARE DIFFERENT THINGS.”
RIOT “ONE. RUN. GAME. KNIVES 2, BOBS 1. THE CROWD IS SLURMCORE POSSESSED. hold me.”
VESPER “The stadium has stopped breathing.”
RIOT “STOP. INCIDENT. EMOTIONAL SUPPORT DRONE FAILURE REPORTED. OKAY. RESUME.”
VESPER “This is why we can't have a normal sport.”
SAINT STATIC “…— manila folder boris swings through the bat and still hits — ball…”
VESPER “The booth is a sacred space, sweetheart. ...fine. Stay.”
RIOT “IT'S 7–1. I'VE SEEN ENOUGH. I HAVEN'T. KEEP GOING. BUT I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.”
VESPER “Last time I checked in, this crowd was slurmcore possessed. They've progressed. I'm not sure toward what.”
RIOT “vesper. vesper. vespervesperVESPER.”
VESPER “Yes ♡”
RIOT “BASEBALL.”
RIOT “Overheard in the stands just now, and I quote: “Fans believe duplicate names actively confuse the circadian rhythm of the umpires.””
VESPER “Final score Bobs 5, Knives 8. Soul of the game: Empty Manila Folder Boris, 12-for-36 with 1 home run. I laughed, I cried, I signed two waivers.”
RIOT “AND THAT WAS *WITH* ECLIPSE GOING ON. UNBELIEVABLE.”
VESPER “We're done here. The field isn't — but we are. Goodnight, everyone.”
RIOT “GOODNIGHT. I MEAN IT. GO.”
- 🌑 ECLIPSE: the sky goes dark. Beryl the Unsmiling, Constance of the Veil, Hilda the Unsmiling, Mavis the Towering, Mavis Edgewise, Hilda the Reach and 10 more — incinerated. 16 souls lost. No replacements. The survivors carry on alone.
Bobs 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 2 1 R 5
Knives 1 0 1 0 1 4 0 1 X R 8
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 36 | 9 | 2 | 5 | .250 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Empty Manila Folder Boris | 36 | 12 | 1 | 8 | .333 |
--- Bobs @ Knives (The Steakhouse) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob hammers a homer. The ceasefire holds for a full thirty seconds. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Empty Manila Folder Boris (hum-along) sails a hit through the infield without disturbing a single peanut shell. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob (knife-adjacent) singles, sneers at a different Bob. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Empty Manila Folder Boris settles in over the plate, looming. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Empty Manila Folder Boris (hum-along) is here. Then she's there. Then she's hit a single. Knives (home): 1 run, 1 hit ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Empty Manila Folder Boris swings through the bat and still hits the ball. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── The crowd is no longer a crowd, exactly. Empty Manila Folder Boris (hum-along) launches a knife-aided home run. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob hits one off the wall. The Bobs cheer, then immediately regroup against the cheering Bob. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob (knife-adjacent) BLASTS one out of the Bob Pit. The Bobs riot, then unify, then riot again. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Empty Manila Folder Boris is here. Then she's there. Then she's hit a single. Knives (home): 1 run, 1 hit ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob lines a single. A neighboring Bob audibly considers a coup. Bobs (away): 1 run, 1 hit FINAL: Bobs 5 — Knives 8 WEATHER: Eclipse 🌑 ECLIPSE: the sky goes dark. Beryl the Unsmiling, Constance of the Veil, Hilda the Unsmiling, Mavis the Towering, Mavis Edgewise, Hilda the Reach and 10 more — incinerated. 16 souls lost. No replacements. The survivors carry on alone.