The Bobs 7 — 14 Outback Knives
BROADCAST DETAILS
RIOT “BOBS AT KNIVES. THE STEAKHOUSE. NOBODY IS READY. LEAST OF ALL ME. GO.”
VESPER “And I'm legally required to be here for it ♡”
VESPER “Oh, and it's Herds of Badgers. I'd say stay safe but you bought tickets to this, so.”
RIOT “vesper. vesper. vespervesperVESPER.”
VESPER “Yes ♡”
RIOT “BASEBALL.”
VESPER “Featured soul of the game: Bob's Cousin Bob, aka “Ground Rule Agent”. Their walkup? Foghorn into smooth jazz. Iconic behavior, no notes.”
RIOT “Word around the league: a favorite of the night shift at the Steakhouse.”
SAINT STATIC “…— the unsmiling unsmiling (incorporeal) (incorporeal) carves a hit. the ball is is also slightly cut…”
VESPER “...okay! Guest commentary. We love that here ♡”
VESPER “Listen to that — Knives fans doing “THAT'S NOT HOW THAT WORKS. (IT WORKED.)” in perfect sync. They practiced. You can tell they practiced ♡”
RIOT “LOOK AT THE BOBS SECTION. JUST LOOK. Fans consider emotional instability a competitive advantage.”
RIOT “BOBS BY ONE. ONE RUN. 3 UHOHS DOWN. EVERY PITCH MATTERS NOW. THEY ALWAYS DID. NOW MORE.”
RIOT “DID EVERYONE SEE THAT? SUSPICIOUS FOG CROSSED THE INFIELD. NO? JUST ME? fine.”
SAINT STATIC “that inning was a gift. do not thank me. do not.”
VESPER “Knives are up 12–6. Through 6. It has stopped being a contest and started being a documentary.”
RIOT “The losing dugout is conducting a small ceremony.”
VESPER “And it's over! Knives take it 14–7. Soul of the game: Beryl the Unsmiling, 5-for-8. What a night. What a sport. What *is* this sport.”
RIOT “DRINK WATER. RESPECT NOBODY. GOODNIGHT.”
VESPER “What they said. Goodnight!”
- 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Beryl the Unsmiling can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 2.3).
- 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Greater Bob Bob can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 4.4).
Bobs 2 2 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 R 7
Knives 2 1 1 0 2 6 1 1 X R 14
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Tall Bob Bob | 6 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 5 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .400 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 5 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .400 |
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 6 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .166 |
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Hereditary Bobina | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Small Bob-3000 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 8 | 5 | 0 | 4 | .625 |
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 8 | 4 | 0 | 2 | .500 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 7 | 4 | 1 | 0 | .571 |
| Hilda Edgewise | 4 | 2 | 0 | 0 | .500 |
| Constance of the Veil | 4 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Mavis the Towering | 4 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Hilda the Reach | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
--- Bobs @ Knives (The Steakhouse) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Reformed Bobstradamus pokes a hit. The clipboard-Bobs make a note. Bobs (away): 2 runs, 2 hits ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Florence Drift reaches for one and somehow makes contact. Hilda the Unsmiling (incorporeal) carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife singles. Somewhere a Bob is sharpening something. Tall Bob Bob hits one off the wall. The Bobs cheer, then immediately regroup against the cheering Bob. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Beryl the Unsmiling (looming) carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Tall Bob Bob steps in. Three Bobs in the on-deck circle accuse each other of treason. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Constance of the Veil powers one over the wall. A complimentary side flies into the stands. Hilda the Reach sails a hit through the infield without disturbing a single peanut shell. Mavis Edgewise hovers, then strikes a base hit through the 5-6 hole. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife grounds a single past the shortstop, still glaring at his cousin Bob. Bobs (away): 1 run, 1 hit ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Hungover Bob-3000 pokes a hit. The clipboard-Bobs make a note. Bobs (away): 1 run, 1 hit ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Beryl the Unsmiling (looming) crushes one. The ball is later found pre-sliced. Phyllis Looms (looming) makes contact. The ball seems hesitant. Mavis Edgewise sets the knife down briefly to swing. Another Knife retrieves it. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── The scoreboard flickers. Hilda the Unsmiling crushes one. The ball is later found pre-sliced. Beryl the Unsmiling sets the knife down briefly to swing. Another Knife retrieves it. Florence Drift swings through the bat and still hits the ball. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Greater Bob Bob lines a single. A neighboring Bob audibly considers a coup. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Florence Drift takes a long, ghostly swing and singles. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Beryl the Unsmiling (looming) crushes one. The ball is later found pre-sliced. Mavis the Towering carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. Mavis Edgewise carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Exhausted Bob With A Knife singles. Somewhere a Bob is sharpening something. FINAL: Bobs 7 — Knives 14 WEATHER: Herds of Badgers 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Beryl the Unsmiling can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 2.3). 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Greater Bob Bob can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 4.4).