The Bobs 11 — 7 Outback Knives
BROADCAST DETAILS
AURELIA “Bobs at Knives. My model says— actually, my model resigned this afternoon. We proceed on vibes, under protest.”
HEX “Don't finish that sentence. It comes true if you finish it.”
HEX “The sky says Herds of Badgers. The sky rarely lies. The sky occasionally screams.”
AURELIA “Your last three predictions were wrong.”
HEX “They haven't happened *yet*. There's a difference.”
AURELIA “There is genuinely not.”
AURELIA “Hereditary Bobina is the one to model tonight. Street name “The Concourse Ghost”. Pre-plate ritual: A recording of a previous walkup, degraded.”
HEX “The Bobs fans are chanting “PAPERWORK. PAPERWORK”. The words are older than they know.”
HEX “The Knives faithful carry a signature aura tonight. Specifically: The home crowd is known for unreasonable but consistent loyalty.”
HEX “The score stands 4–1, Bobs. The 5th uhoh approaches with intentions. I won't say whose.”
AURELIA “The stadium is colder when the visitors lead. It just is.”
HEX “Emergency cleanup crew entered from the wrong tunnel. ...I'm going to pretend that wasn't in the dream. It was in the dream.”
AURELIA “Bobs by 6–1 through 6. The books settled this an hour ago. Everything since has been paperwork.”
HEX “It was Bobs up 4–1 when I last spoke. I said nothing then. You understand now why I said nothing.”
HEX “Final score 11–7. Bobs prevail. Soul of the game: Exhausted Bob With A Knife, 5-for-8 with 2 home runs. The cards knew. The cards always know. The cards are insufferable.”
AURELIA “Played under Herds of Badgers, for those adjusting their models at home. You know who you are.”
AURELIA “Margins held. Some didn't. Settling accordingly. Goodnight.”
HEX “The parking lot situation is now your problem. I saw it. Goodnight.”
- 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Constance of the Veil can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 0.8).
- 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Hereditary Bobina can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 3.3).
Bobs 1 1 1 1 1 1 3 1 1 R 11
Knives 1 0 0 0 0 0 6 0 0 R 7
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 8 | 5 | 2 | 4 | .625 |
| Hereditary Bobina | 5 | 3 | 0 | 2 | .600 |
| Tall Bob Bob | 7 | 2 | 0 | 0 | .285 |
| Small Bob-3000 | 5 | 2 | 1 | 2 | .400 |
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 7 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .142 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .200 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 5 | 3 | 1 | 2 | .600 |
| Mavis the Towering | 6 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .333 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 3 | 2 | 1 | 2 | .666 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .200 |
| Hilda Edgewise | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Phyllis Looms | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Florence Drift | 5 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Bobs @ Knives (The Steakhouse) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Small Bob-3000 steps in. Three Bobs in the on-deck circle accuse each other of treason. Bobs (away): 1 run, 1 hit ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Mavis the Towering settles in over the plate, looming. Hilda Edgewise carves a base hit through the gap. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Exhausted Bob With A Knife (uneasy ceasefire) CRACKS one over the centerfield wall. Several Bobs immediately try to enlist Exhausted Bob With A Knife. Hereditary Bobina (muttering) works the count. A Bob in the stands stands up and announces he is leaving the war. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Small Bob-3000 hammers a homer. The ceasefire holds for a full thirty seconds. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Hereditary Bobina clubs a double. The Bob War temporarily dissolves into mutual envy. Bobs (away): 1 run, 1 hit ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Exhausted Bob With A Knife drives one out. Six different Bobs claim to have predicted it. Tall Bob Bob drives one into the gap. Two Bobs nearly come to blows in the dugout. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Constance of the Veil (looming) slices one down the line. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Hungover Bob-3000 (settling scores) drives one to right. Three Bobs simultaneously call timeout for unrelated reasons. Tall Bob Bob hits one off the wall. The Bobs cheer, then immediately regroup against the cheering Bob. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob lashes one down the line. Other Bobs claim partial credit. Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife (muttering) hits a sharp grounder. The ceasefire holds, barely. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── The crowd is no longer a crowd, exactly. Mavis Edgewise sails one OVER THE BLOOMIN' ONION. Hilda the Unsmiling slices one down the line. Beryl the Unsmiling (looming) makes contact. The ball seems hesitant. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Hereditary Bobina (muttering) fouls one off and points at another Bob. Reasons unclear. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Exhausted Bob With A Knife bunts. The Bobs argue for nine straight minutes about what a bunt is. Bobs (away): 1 run, 1 hit ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. FINAL: Bobs 11 — Knives 7 WEATHER: Herds of Badgers 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Constance of the Veil can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 0.8). 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Hereditary Bobina can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 3.3).