RELAY · GAME 022
Boat Boys 6 — 7 Outback Knives
BROADCAST DETAILS
HEX “Boats at Knives. I already know the seventh uhoh. I've made peace with it. You have three hours to do the same.”
RIOT “...i got chills. ANYWAY. PLAY BALL.”
RIOT “HERDS OF BADGERS. OVER THE FIELD. RIGHT NOW. this is the best job in the world.”
RIOT “WATCH MAVIS THE TOWERING. THEY CALL THEM “The Human Error” AND THE NICKNAME IS EARNED.”
▲ 1ST
Stan (Also Captain) works a hit, then yells something about thermostats.
Roy (Captain Emeritus) swings, makes contact, and immediately criticizes his own follow-through.
▼ 1ST
Constance of the Veil powers one over the wall. A complimentary side flies into the stands.
Mavis Edgewise hovers, then strikes a base hit through the 5-6 hole.
Knives (home): 1 run, 2 hits, 1 HR
▲ 2ND
Hank (The Real Captain) swings, makes contact, and immediately criticizes his own follow-through.
RIOT “CROWD CHECK — “BOAT BOYS NEVER DROWN” — BOATS SECTION — 2ND UHOH — I HAVE JOINED IN TWICE ALREADY.”
▼ 2ND
A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason.
▲ 3RD
Hank (Allegedly Captain) (dad-coded) hammers a base hit while several dads adjust their hats.
▼ 3RD
A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason.
▲ 4TH
Earl (Disputed Captain) (knot-untying) singles, looking up, briefly noticing a cloud.
Hank (Allegedly Captain) drives one. A different Captain says something about marine batteries.
RIOT “BOATS LEAD 4–1 THROUGH 3. THE CROWD IS SLURMCORE POSSESSED. AS THEY SHOULD BE.”
▼ 4TH
Constance of the Veil carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut.
▲ 5TH
Tepid Soup Karen (hum-along) singles, looking up, briefly noticing a cloud.
▼ 5TH
Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters.
▲ 6TH
Wayne (Disputed Captain) (loud about lawns) drives one. A different Captain says something about marine batteries.
Earl (Captain Emeritus) (loud about lawns) singles. Two other Captains compare grills.
▼ 6TH
The crowd is no longer a crowd, exactly.
Hilda Edgewise powers one over the wall. A complimentary side flies into the stands.
Hilda the Unsmiling singles. The Steakhouse smells more strongly.
Constance of the Veil (looming) carves a base hit through the gap.
RIOT “KNIVES LEAD 7–5 THROUGH 6. THE CROWD IS CHANTING INCORRECTLY. AS THEY SHOULD BE.”
HEX “A fan has gone mascot mode near concessions.”
RIOT “I DON'T BELIEVE IN OMENS.”
HEX “They know. They find it charming.”
▲ 7TH
A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason.
▼ 7TH
A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason.
▲ 8TH
Roy (Captain Emeritus) gets ALL of one. The home crowd of dads claps in approving silence.
Wayne (Disputed Captain) singles. Two other Captains compare grills.
▼ 8TH
Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed.
▲ 9TH
Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed.
FINAL: Boats 6 — Knives 7
WEATHER: Herds of Badgers
🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Beryl the Unsmiling can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 4.6).
🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Roy (Captain Emeritus) can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 9.0).
HEX “Knives, 7–6, final. Soul of the game: Mavis the Towering, 3-for-5 with 1 home run. I'd act surprised, but you'd feel the lie through the screen.”
RIOT “CORRECT.”
HEX “Tomorrow's game will be worse. Goodnight.”
RIOT “GOODNIGHT. I MEAN IT. GO.”
WEATHER EVENTS
- 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Beryl the Unsmiling can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 4.6).
- 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Roy (Captain Emeritus) can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 9.0).
LINESCORE · FRAME-BY-FRAME
Boats 2 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 R 6
Knives 1 0 0 1 0 5 0 0 X R 7
Boat Boys
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hank (Allegedly Captain) | 6 | 2 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Roy (Captain Emeritus) | 5 | 2 | 1 | 2 | .400 |
| Earl (Captain Emeritus) | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
| Stan (Also Captain) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Earl (Disputed Captain) | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Steve (Also Captain) | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
Outback Knives
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Wayne (Disputed Captain) | 6 | 3 | 0 | 0 | .500 |
| Constance of the Veil | 6 | 3 | 0 | 3 | .500 |
| Mavis the Towering | 5 | 3 | 1 | 1 | .600 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 6 | 1 | 1 | 0 | .166 |
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .200 |
| Phyllis Looms | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Hilda Edgewise | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Hilda the Reach | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Florence Drift | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
INNING LOG · FULL RECORD
--- Boats @ Knives (The Steakhouse) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Stan (Also Captain) works a hit, then yells something about thermostats. Roy (Captain Emeritus) swings, makes contact, and immediately criticizes his own follow-through. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Constance of the Veil powers one over the wall. A complimentary side flies into the stands. Mavis Edgewise hovers, then strikes a base hit through the 5-6 hole. Knives (home): 1 run, 2 hits, 1 HR ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Hank (The Real Captain) swings, makes contact, and immediately criticizes his own follow-through. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Hank (Allegedly Captain) (dad-coded) hammers a base hit while several dads adjust their hats. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Earl (Disputed Captain) (knot-untying) singles, looking up, briefly noticing a cloud. Hank (Allegedly Captain) drives one. A different Captain says something about marine batteries. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Constance of the Veil carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Tepid Soup Karen (hum-along) singles, looking up, briefly noticing a cloud. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Wayne (Disputed Captain) (loud about lawns) drives one. A different Captain says something about marine batteries. Earl (Captain Emeritus) (loud about lawns) singles. Two other Captains compare grills. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── The crowd is no longer a crowd, exactly. Hilda Edgewise powers one over the wall. A complimentary side flies into the stands. Hilda the Unsmiling singles. The Steakhouse smells more strongly. Constance of the Veil (looming) carves a base hit through the gap. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Roy (Captain Emeritus) gets ALL of one. The home crowd of dads claps in approving silence. Wayne (Disputed Captain) singles. Two other Captains compare grills. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. FINAL: Boats 6 — Knives 7 WEATHER: Herds of Badgers 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Beryl the Unsmiling can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 4.6). 🦡 HERDS OF BADGERS: Roy (Captain Emeritus) can't field through this. −1 GLOVE (now 9.0).