Outback Knives 8 — 9 The Bobs
♡ Curse weather. One stat is going on a little vacation.
BROADCAST DETAILS
AURELIA “Tonight's matchup: Knives at Bobs. The line has moved four times. It apologized once. I accepted, professionally.”
VESPER “What she said. Roll the thing, boys.”
VESPER “Quick weather check before we start — it's Curse out there. That is a real forecast and I am so sorry.”
AURELIA “Scouting note on Empty Manila Folder Boris — “Two-Beer Marvin” to the fans. Walkup routine as follows: Foghorn into smooth jazz. The books adjust accordingly. I don't ask how.”
VESPER “Listen to that — Bobs fans doing “DO NOT LOOK UP” in perfect sync. They practiced. You can tell they practiced ♡”
AURELIA “The Knives fanbase, for the record: Section B has a smell. The section is proud of this. I no longer footnote it.”
AURELIA “Through 3 it's Knives, 2–0. The line has noticed. The crowd — gambling spiral — has also noticed. Everyone's noticing. Great work all around.”
VESPER “Knives up by one. Just the one. Through 6. That's — yeah. That's a real grip on the armrest situation.”
AURELIA “Earlier reading had the crowd gambling spiral. Revised reading: worse. Or better. Depends on your position.”
AURELIA “Overheard in the stands just now, and I quote: “Some fans believe the umpire behind home plate has been the same person since the league's first game. The math doesn't work. They don't care. They don't need to.””
VESPER “And it's over! Bobs take it 9–8. Soul of the game: Hilda the Reach, 4-for-6 with 1 home run. What a night. What a sport. What *is* this sport.”
AURELIA “Played under Curse, for those adjusting their models at home. You know who you are.”
VESPER “We're done here. The field isn't — but we are. Goodnight, everyone.”
AURELIA “Filed. Goodnight.”
- 💀 CURSE: Hilda Edgewise loses 1 GLOVE (now 3.6).
Knives 0 0 1 1 1 1 3 0 1 R 8
Bobs 0 0 0 1 0 2 1 5 X R 9
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hilda the Reach | 6 | 4 | 1 | 2 | .666 |
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 7 | 3 | 0 | 3 | .428 |
| Hank (Allegedly Captain) | 6 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Mavis the Towering | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hilda Edgewise | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Greater Bob Bob | 6 | 4 | 0 | 3 | .666 |
| Tall Bob Bob | 10 | 3 | 0 | 2 | .300 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 6 | 3 | 1 | 1 | .500 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 4 | 3 | 0 | 3 | .750 |
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 5 | 2 | 1 | 0 | .400 |
| Hereditary Bobina | 5 | 2 | 0 | 0 | .400 |
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .333 |
| Small Bob-3000 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Knives @ Bobs (The Bob Pit) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Hank (Allegedly Captain) makes contact. The ball seems hesitant. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Hilda the Unsmiling floats a line drive past the diving fielder. Phyllis Looms carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Exhausted Bob With A Knife CRACKS one over the centerfield wall. Several Bobs immediately try to enlist Exhausted Bob With A Knife. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Florence Drift drives one. The catcher politely notes she could not see Florence Drift swing. Hilda the Reach carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Greater Bob Bob hits a sharp grounder. The ceasefire holds, barely. Tall Bob Bob works a long at-bat under pointed Bob scrutiny. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Phyllis Looms (looming) sends one out. The neon sign reading 'STEAKS' sputters meaningfully. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Reformed Bobstradamus crushes a home run. The treaty is amended in real time. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Hank (Allegedly Captain) swings through the bat and still hits the ball. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Reformed Bobstradamus (settling scores) grounds a single past the shortstop, still glaring at his cousin Bob. Tall Bob Bob (muttering) bunts. The Bobs argue for nine straight minutes about what a bunt is. Bobs (home): 2 runs, 5 hits ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Hilda the Unsmiling is here. Then she's there. Then she's hit a single. Hilda the Reach carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Greater Bob Bob (war-weary) hits a sharp grounder. The ceasefire holds, barely. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Hilda the Reach (incorporeal) crushes one. The ball is later found pre-sliced. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── The lights dim, brighten, and dim again. Bob's Cousin Bob singles. Somewhere a Bob is sharpening something. Tall Bob Bob (muttering) works a long at-bat under pointed Bob scrutiny. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Hilda the Reach settles in over the plate, looming. FINAL: Knives 8 — Bobs 9 WEATHER: Curse 💀 CURSE: Hilda Edgewise loses 1 GLOVE (now 3.6).