The Bobs 6 — 5 Outback Knives
♡ Curse weather. One stat is going on a little vacation.
BROADCAST DETAILS
HEX “Bobs at Knives. Before we start: whoever parked in the west lot, move your car. You know why. You'll know why.”
RIOT “I ALREADY LOVE THIS GAME AND IT HASN'T STARTED.”
HEX “The sky says Curse. The sky rarely lies. The sky occasionally screams.”
RIOT “CORRECT.”
RIOT “I DON'T BELIEVE IN OMENS.”
HEX “They know. They find it charming.”
HEX “Empty Manila Folder Boris. “Two-Beer Marvin”. I've seen their at-bats before they happen. So has the pitcher, unfortunately for the pitcher.”
HEX “The Bobs fans are chanting “WE DROVE SO FAR”. The words are older than they know.”
HEX “I read the Knives section on the way in. Findings: Fans communicate primarily through chants and farts. Make of that what they will.”
RIOT “4–4 THROUGH 4. NOBODY BLINKS. I LOVE TIES. I HATE TIES. BOTH.”
HEX “Two crowds. One pulse. Bad vibes.”
HEX “Bobs by a single run through 6. A one-run lead is a door left open. Something is going to walk through it.”
RIOT “Someone in section 8 keeps yelling 'Jeems buffered again.'”
HEX “Overheard in the stands just now, and I quote: “Some fans believe the umpire behind home plate has been the same person since the league's first game. The math doesn't work. They don't care. They don't need to.””
RIOT “IT'S OVER. BOBS WIN 6–5. SOUL OF THE GAME: REFORMED BOBSTRADAMUS, 3-FOR-3. i need to sit down. I'M NOT GOING TO. but i need to.”
RIOT “NOBODY LEAVES UNTIL I DO. ...okay i'm leaving. GOODNIGHT.”
HEX “The parking lot situation is now your problem. I saw it. Goodnight.”
- 💀 CURSE: Hereditary Bobina loses 1 GLOVE (now 3.3).
Bobs 0 0 3 1 1 0 1 0 0 R 6
Knives 0 1 1 2 0 0 0 1 0 R 5
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 3 | 3 | 0 | 2 | .1000 |
| Small Bob-3000 | 8 | 2 | 1 | 2 | .250 |
| Tall Bob Bob | 5 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .400 |
| Hereditary Bobina | 5 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .400 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 7 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .285 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 6 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Mavis the Towering | 5 | 2 | 1 | 2 | .400 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 6 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .166 |
| Hank (Allegedly Captain) | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hilda Edgewise | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hilda the Reach | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Bobs @ Knives (The Steakhouse) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Tall Bob Bob grounds a single past the shortstop, still glaring at his cousin Bob. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Mavis the Towering slices one down the line. Phyllis Looms makes contact. The ball seems hesitant. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Hereditary Bobina (muttering) BLASTS one out of the Bob Pit. The Bobs riot, then unify, then riot again. Small Bob-3000 (settling scores) clubs a double. The Bob War temporarily dissolves into mutual envy. Reformed Bobstradamus (settling scores) lashes one down the line. Other Bobs claim partial credit. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Florence Drift drives one past the third baseman. The complimentary side at her seat is now cold. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Reformed Bobstradamus (settling scores) lines a single. A neighboring Bob audibly considers a coup. Bobs (away): 1 run, 1 hit ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Mavis Edgewise (drifting) hovers, then strikes a base hit through the 5-6 hole. Hilda the Unsmiling carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── The crowd is no longer a crowd, exactly. Tall Bob Bob bunts. The Bobs argue for nine straight minutes about what a bunt is. Greater Bob Bob (war-weary) drives one into the gap. Two Bobs nearly come to blows in the dugout. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Reformed Bobstradamus lashes one down the line. Other Bobs claim partial credit. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Hilda the Unsmiling drives one. The catcher politely notes she could not see Hilda the Unsmiling swing. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Small Bob-3000 pokes a hit. The clipboard-Bobs make a note. Bobs (away): 1 run, 1 hit ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Mavis the Towering sends one out. The neon sign reading 'STEAKS' sputters meaningfully. Florence Drift floats a line drive past the diving fielder. Beryl the Unsmiling drives one. The catcher politely notes she could not see Beryl the Unsmiling swing. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Hereditary Bobina (muttering) slaps a hit while another Bob loudly disagrees with the call. ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. FINAL: Bobs 6 — Knives 5 WEATHER: Curse 💀 CURSE: Hereditary Bobina loses 1 GLOVE (now 3.3).