Outback Knives 10 — 9 The Bobs
♡ Curse weather. One stat is going on a little vacation.
BROADCAST DETAILS
HEX “Something followed me into the booth tonight. Anyway — Knives at Bobs, from The Bob Pit.”
AURELIA “For the record, I predicted none of what's about to happen. Put that on my tombstone.”
AURELIA “It's Curse. I ran the numbers on what that does to batting averages and then I closed the spreadsheet and took a walk.”
HEX “Mm. Earlier than the dream had it, but yes.”
AURELIA “Scouting note on Empty Manila Folder Boris — “Two-Beer Marvin” to the fans. Walkup routine as follows: Foghorn into smooth jazz. The books adjust accordingly. I don't ask how.”
AURELIA ““DO NOT LOOK UP” — that's the Knives crowd, 2nd uhoh. The chant-to-runs correlation remains unproven. They keep chanting. I keep noting it.”
HEX “Mm. Earlier than the dream had it, but yes.”
HEX “I read the Knives section on the way in. Findings: The average attendee owns three jerseys. One is wrong. Make of that what they will.”
AURELIA “2 apiece after 4 uhohs. The books hate a tie. The crowd — currently spider-killed — disagrees. Loudly.”
AURELIA “Noting for the record: Public address system briefly apologized to the Bobs. The record grows stranger by the season and nobody will let me archive it.”
AURELIA “Level at 4 through 6. Ties this deep move money in strange directions. Crowd is emotionally invested. The books are pretending not to watch.”
HEX “An entire section is convinced they know what happens next. They don't.”
AURELIA “Your last three predictions were wrong.”
HEX “They haven't happened *yet*. There's a difference.”
AURELIA “There is genuinely not.”
HEX “Final score 10–9. Knives prevail. Soul of the game: Hungover Bob-3000, 3-for-8 with 1 home run. The cards knew. The cards always know. The cards are insufferable.”
AURELIA “Played under Curse, for those adjusting their models at home. You know who you are.”
AURELIA “I'm going to go stare at a spreadsheet until I feel something. Goodnight.”
HEX “Until the next vision. Goodnight.”
- 💀 CURSE: Greater Bob Bob loses 1 SOUL (now 4.4).
Knives 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 6 R 10
Bobs 1 1 0 0 0 2 0 0 5 R 9
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 6 | 3 | 0 | 0 | .500 |
| Constance of the Veil | 6 | 3 | 1 | 3 | .500 |
| Hilda Edgewise | 8 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .125 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 5 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .200 |
| Mavis the Towering | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Hilda the Reach | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .500 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 8 | 3 | 1 | 2 | .375 |
| Hereditary Bobina | 5 | 3 | 0 | 1 | .600 |
| Small Bob-3000 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 1 | .1000 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 8 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .250 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 5 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .400 |
| Tall Bob Bob | 3 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .666 |
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 7 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .142 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob With A Knife | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Knives @ Bobs (The Bob Pit) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Hilda the Unsmiling makes contact. The ball seems hesitant. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Bob's Cousin Bob hits one off the wall. The Bobs cheer, then immediately regroup against the cheering Bob. Small Bob-3000 singles, sneers at a different Bob. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Constance of the Veil crushes one. The ball is later found pre-sliced. Mavis Edgewise sets the knife down briefly to swing. Another Knife retrieves it. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Greater Bob Bob swings furiously. The other Bobs heckle. Hereditary Bobina lines a single. A neighboring Bob audibly considers a coup. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Small Bob-3000 clubs a double. The Bob War temporarily dissolves into mutual envy. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Hilda Edgewise carves a base hit through the gap. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── Nothing scored. A Bob in section 4 is denouncing a Bob in section 9. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Constance of the Veil hovers, then strikes a base hit through the 5-6 hole. Hilda the Unsmiling (incorporeal) carves a hit. The ball is also slightly cut. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Hereditary Bobina (muttering) lines a single. A neighboring Bob audibly considers a coup. Exhausted Bob With A Knife lashes one down the line. Other Bobs claim partial credit. ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Florence Drift settles in over the plate, looming. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Small Bob-3000 works the count. A Bob in the stands stands up and announces he is leaving the war. Tall Bob Bob lines a single. A neighboring Bob audibly considers a coup. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Bob Pit. The Bobs jeer their own. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── The lights dim, brighten, and dim again. Beryl the Unsmiling (looming) sends a home run into the parking lot. The valet, who is also a ghost, shrugs. Constance of the Veil sails a hit through the infield without disturbing a single peanut shell. Florence Drift (polite menace) drives one past the third baseman. The complimentary side at her seat is now cold. ─── bot of the 9th ────────────────────────── Something is wrong with the air. Hereditary Bobina crushes a home run. The treaty is amended in real time. Hungover Bob-3000 (settling scores) grounds a single past the shortstop, still glaring at his cousin Bob. Tall Bob Bob (muttering) works a long at-bat under pointed Bob scrutiny. FINAL: Knives 10 — Bobs 9 WEATHER: Curse 💀 CURSE: Greater Bob Bob loses 1 SOUL (now 4.4).