The Bobs 9 — 11 Outback Knives
BROADCAST DETAILS
VESPER “It's us again~ Bobs at Knives. If you're just tuning in: don't worry about the sirens earlier. Unrelated. Probably.”
RIOT “I ALREADY LOVE THIS GAME AND IT HASN'T STARTED.”
RIOT “HEADS UP — UPSIDE DOWN RAIN. Literally. Heads. Up.”
VESPER “You know what I love about this booth? The dread. The camaraderie. The little fridge.”
RIOT “THE FRIDGE IS EMPTY.”
VESPER “The dread and the camaraderie, then.”
VESPER “Featured soul of the game: Exhausted Bob With A Knife, aka “Dial Tone Danny”. Their walkup? Just the crowd. Just the crowd. Iconic behavior, no notes.”
VESPER “And there's the first chant of the night from the Bobs faithful: “WE HAVE NOT LEFT”. ...sure. Sure!”
VESPER “A note about the Knives crowd tonight~ Fans consider emotional instability a competitive advantage.”
RIOT “IT'S 7–2. I'VE SEEN ENOUGH. I HAVEN'T. KEEP GOING. BUT I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.”
VESPER “The home faithful are operating on confidence alone.”
VESPER “Oh — stadium operations asked me to read this: One section began crying together. Play continued. ...anyway!”
RIOT “IT'S 10–6. I'VE SEEN ENOUGH. I HAVEN'T. KEEP GOING. BUT I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.”
VESPER “A drone briefly hovered over the home team. It looked sad.”
VESPER “That's the ballgame~ Final: Bobs 9, Knives 11. Soul of the game: Hilda Edgewise, 4-for-7 with 1 home run. Drive home carefully. Or don't — I'm a broadcast, not your mother.”
RIOT “SAY IT AGAIN. don't. it's better once.”
RIOT “GOODNIGHT FUTURE HELL. same time tomorrow. SAME EVERYTHING TOMORROW.”
VESPER “We are emotionally archived too. Goodnight.”
- 🙃 UPSIDE DOWN RAIN: Beryl the Unsmiling — POWER (5.6) and GLOVE (2.3) swapped.
Bobs 1 0 0 1 0 4 2 1 0 R 9
Knives 2 4 1 0 1 2 0 1 X R 11
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Small Bob-3000 | 9 | 4 | 0 | 3 | .444 |
| Exhausted Bob With A Knife | 5 | 4 | 0 | 1 | .800 |
| Tall Bob Bob | 6 | 2 | 1 | 2 | .333 |
| Hungover Bob-3000 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .500 |
| Reformed Bobstradamus | 6 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .166 |
| Greater Bob Bob | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Hereditary Bobina | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Bob's Cousin Bob | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Player | AB | H | HR | RBI | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Hilda Edgewise | 7 | 4 | 1 | 2 | .571 |
| Constance of the Veil | 7 | 3 | 1 | 2 | .428 |
| Hilda the Unsmiling | 5 | 3 | 0 | 2 | .600 |
| Florence Drift | 2 | 2 | 0 | 2 | .1000 |
| Mavis the Towering | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Hilda the Reach | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .333 |
| Phyllis Looms | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| Mavis Edgewise | 6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
| Beryl the Unsmiling | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .000 |
--- Bobs @ Knives (The Steakhouse) --- ─── top of the 1st ────────────────────────── Small Bob-3000 (settling scores) hits one off the wall. The Bobs cheer, then immediately regroup against the cheering Bob. ─── bot of the 1st ────────────────────────── Constance of the Veil launches a knife-aided home run. The ball is also slightly cut. Mavis the Towering is here. Then she's there. Then she's hit a single. ─── top of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Exhausted Bob With A Knife lines a single. A neighboring Bob audibly considers a coup. ─── bot of the 2nd ────────────────────────── Several balls go missing and reappear. Hilda the Reach floats a line drive past the diving fielder. Hilda the Unsmiling carves a base hit through the gap. ─── top of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── bot of the 3rd ────────────────────────── Florence Drift drives one past the third baseman. The complimentary side at her seat is now cold. Hilda Edgewise carves a base hit through the gap. ─── top of the 4th ────────────────────────── Tall Bob Bob (muttering) works a long at-bat under pointed Bob scrutiny. Small Bob-3000 (settling scores) clubs a double. The Bob War temporarily dissolves into mutual envy. ─── bot of the 4th ────────────────────────── A scoreless inning. The bloomin' onion smell intensifies for no reason. ─── top of the 5th ────────────────────────── Nothing happens. A complimentary side cools, undisturbed. ─── bot of the 5th ────────────────────────── Phyllis Looms is here. Then she's there. Then she's hit a single. Knives (home): 1 run, 1 hit ─── top of the 6th ────────────────────────── Something is wrong with the air. Tall Bob Bob launches one. A Bob in the upper deck stands up and concedes the entire war, briefly. Small Bob-3000 fouls one off and points at another Bob. Reasons unclear. Exhausted Bob With A Knife (uneasy ceasefire) hits one off the wall. The Bobs cheer, then immediately regroup against the cheering Bob. ─── bot of the 6th ────────────────────────── Hilda the Unsmiling (incorporeal) sends one out. The neon sign reading 'STEAKS' sputters meaningfully. Hilda Edgewise settles into a stance taller than the umpire and singles. ─── top of the 7th ────────────────────────── Hungover Bob-3000 (settling scores) drives one into the gap. Two Bobs nearly come to blows in the dugout. Reformed Bobstradamus drives one to right. Three Bobs simultaneously call timeout for unrelated reasons. ─── bot of the 7th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. ─── top of the 8th ────────────────────────── Hungover Bob-3000 swings furiously. The other Bobs heckle. ─── bot of the 8th ────────────────────────── Hilda Edgewise drifts up to the plate. The bat hovers. ─── top of the 9th ────────────────────────── Three up, three down at The Steakhouse. The Knives go quietly. Somewhere a knife clatters. FINAL: Bobs 9 — Knives 11 WEATHER: Upside Down Rain 🙃 UPSIDE DOWN RAIN: Beryl the Unsmiling — POWER (5.6) and GLOVE (2.3) swapped.